Crumbs...

a blog marriage - moving house!

2011-02-25T15:56:00.000Z

I've decided to move house! I'm combining my two blogs, letting them get married and live happily ever after.

If you would like to keep up with me and my funny, lovely little family please come over to Play on the Word. I'd really love to see you there. All the old Crumbs posts are there along with the usual Play on the Word stuff. Sorry for any confusion or hassle.

Please tell your feedreader the good news, I don't want to miss you! I'll keep visiting your blogs and commenting as Alicecrumbs. If you want to follow me on twitter I'm @alicecrumbs.

Mwah! xxx

time for a blogging break

2010-12-18T19:19:00.001Z

I think it's about time I made my absence official and admitted I need a blogging break.

I'm still reading your blogs and loving keeping up with your latest news and activities!

Honestly, I am struggling at the moment and feel like I've not got much to say. There is nothing specific, just an accumulation of trickiness which has made me low and lethargic.

We're finding decisions about the future draining and discouraging, I'm at a pretty low ebb spiritually, we've been unusually sickly in the last six months, Mikey is going through a difficult time and I'm just a bit weary!

I'm going to take it easy with Play on the Word stuff too, which feels like a hard decision because it has been the most encouraging thing to me recently. Obviously we'll still be telling our lot about Jesus and playing as we go, so I'll share bits and pieces.

I'm feeling pretty sad really. I very, very much hope I'll be back. In the meantime if you want to keep in touch feel free to friend me on Facebook or follow me @alicecrumbs.

Nativity Play (on the Word)

2010-11-27T11:31:00.000Z

I've posted something new and exciting at Play on the Word. If you're interested in helping your pre-schoolers find out more about the Christmas story and play their way through December, go and have a look here!

There is one big download (in a few sections - darn you, upload limit!) in it you'll find:

Five weeks' worth of Christmas stories designed especially for under fives. They work really well with our lot.
Ideas for interactive story-telling which is essential for little ones and ideal for those who find language a little harder.
An enormous amount of play ideas to give you opportunities to share the exciting news about Jesus and chat with and have TONNES of fun with your children.
An idea for an advent calendar which will prompt play, craft and conversation.
Cut-out and colour nativity figures
Templates, craft ideas and delicious recipes!

It's all free. Take a look and have fun!

xxx

Mikey in pictures

2010-11-17T20:52:00.000Z

Have you read Love that Max? It's brilliant! I've found it immensely encouraging to read and a good breath of fresh air in the fog of parenting!

Ellen is hosting a carnival where we share our favourite pictures of our children who have special needs, additional needs, disabilities or whatever the latest PC term is!

It's meant to be just one, but try as I might, I couldn't pin him down to one image. So here are a few that I feel sum him up:

Here's Mikey while we were getting to know him at his foster carers. We'd known him a couple of days and loved him. Who couldn't adore a child who points at his mouth when you're feeding him as if to say "Come on - in here!"?

This sums up lots of our outings. One of us chasing Mikey who would happily wander miles from us. This is the walk that ended up with me carrying him most of the way - he appears to have boundless energy but when it runs out that is it - no cajoling will budge his weary body.

It's only since beginning his sensory assessment that I've noticed most of the pictures we have of Mikey show him licking, chewing, or with his tongue out ready to explore the next sensation! I gave up worrying about germs a long time ago!

This is my latest favourite because it reminds me of a recent time that Mikey and I played one on one and really engaged. Sometimes those moments of connection feel few and far between. But when you get them - oh the deliciousness! He has the most irresistible face I have ever experienced.

Check out Ellen's blog and the other links! There are some amazing families and beautiful children out there.

oh dear, I seem to have forgotten to blog

2010-10-25T22:16:00.002+01:00

Gosh, I'm sorry about giving up blogging! It's been one of those things, like a thank you letter I've forgotten to send, that I know I need to do but the longer I wait the harder it seems!

I've committed to regular blogging on Play on the Word. I've been really enjoying it and it's given me a renewed energy for playing with the kids and getting excited about Jesus. But with that and trying to see Dave and friends I guess Crumbs has been relegated to the second division!

So, I'm sorry! Lots has happened, but let's just get on with today shall we?

It's Dan's birthday tomorrow, so today I have been decorating his cake. It's the first time I've tried frosting a cake and it's a bit shoddy but he'll be happy! He loves giraffes, so I hope he'll be pleased. It's based on the picture on this jigsaw piece:

I thought attempting to do a giraffe's spindly legs was a bit ridiculous, so this picture was handy inspiration!

I've been to a craft group this evening and a lovely lady called Carol showed me what I was doing wrong with my crocheting! My very amazing mum taught me a couple of weeks ago and I've been making hilariously tense looking granny squares ever since. This evening helped me relax a bit, so I may be ready to post some pictures soon!

I'm so excited about Dan's birthday - I really hope he has fun and likes the present we got him!

I'll keep you posted. I hope!

I always forget birthdays

2010-09-24T20:41:00.000+01:00

Here is a Giraffe. It has nothing to do with this post. I just saw her the other day and loved her a lot.

Can you believe I forgot my own blog's birthday?!! Ah well, a good reason to make cake tomorrow I think!

I've been doing this for two years and still don't quite feel I've got into the groove of it all! I do love how many lovely people I've met and stalked through it all though!

Things are going swimmingly over at Play on the Word. The latest post has a video of us doing this weeks' Bible story. Mikey is trying to speak. Let me say that again so I start to believe it: Mikey is trying to speak!!!

OK, so it may just be me and Dave that can understand but, oh my goodness, it brings tears to my eyes and smiles to my lips!

I've had another lovely day off. Shoddy bakewell tart at the cafe (nowhere near as good as my mother in law's recipe) but a great, HUGE pot of tea. We met an Occupational Therapist who is doing a specialist sensory profile on Mikey - my eyes were opened in so many ways. I can't wait to talk to her again - I feel as though she has one of the keys we need to unlock a bit of Mikey.

Oh, and it's pesto pasta for tea - life is good!

If you want updates about Play on the Word, search for our page on Facebook and click 'like'!

seven year itch? no, thank you!

2010-09-21T22:43:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was our 7th wedding anniversary! It was our first time having all three children babysat while we went to the pub. Drinking a pint of Guinness & Black with my lovely husband has to be one of my favourite ways to spend an evening. Great to get out and not have the distractions of TV and Internet stunting conversation!

Having said that, we watched Lie To Me while eating our curry. I love that programme so much. Don't get me started!

This time seven years ago we were about to buy our first house, move to Leyland and start Dave's new role as Youth Minister with our new Church family.

So much has changed! We have three hilarious, gorgeous and exhausting children. Were in a different house. We're at a plant of the Church we started out at. Dave is now doing a job in education while we wait for the right Youth Ministry job to come up. Were looking into the future and (often tearfully) coming to terms with the fact that we'll probably be moving away from our friends and family who are so important and precious to us.

Honestly, it's not where I thought we'd be. There are times I wonder if we've gone wrong somewhere. At moments like that I just need to look back and remember how God has cared for, provided for and blessed us - it's the only way I can look into an unknown future with confidence that it'll be all right!

Oh, and may I just boast a bit about Dave? A brilliant Christmas talk he has done has been made into a booklet to get people thinking about what Christmas is all about. You can see it here. It's based on the song, "Santa Claus is coming to town" and he is the only person I have ever heard of to get a thousand sullen teenagers spontaneously singing along as he gave the talk at the school he now works in (Glee, eat your heart out!).

It's a great little booklet and well worth a purchase! I highly recommend it for sending with your Christmas cards!

I'm such a lucky girl to be married to him.

babies and bribery - this one's for you, Dawn!

2010-09-17T12:00:00.006+01:00

It's my 200th post today and what better way to celebrate than to show some appreciation of one of my very favourite bloggers. The very lovely Dawn at Spontaneous Clapping.

I remember reading Dawn's first blog post - a photo of an Oreo floating in milk. Breakfast. Yep, this is my kind of girl! (Although I admit I was a lurker for a while before commenting!)

She is a great writer, taker of lovely photos, hilariously honest and vibrantly living as a survivor of breast cancer. She's also obsessed with food.

It's been extremely exciting to read along with her as she got ready for her incredibly beautiful wedding last December. Her honeymoon pictures of her travels and meals in New Zealand filled me with envy. HOW exciting then when she announced her pregnancy!!!

Peanut is due next month and this is one of many posts acting as a blog-shower: celebrating, gushing and generally brimming with excitement about this fabulous woman and the amazing next stage of her life. Click on the button at the top to read the other posts - believe me, you'll love Dawn utterly and completely once you've finished reading!

Well Dawn - I'm rather new to baby showers! I guess that once the drinks are flowing, cake is eaten and ridiculous games are played the same thing happens that occurs around the world when mothers get together... scary birth stories and heartfelt parenting advice!!!

I'm not going to give you either! Every birth is different, so my experience doesn't really matter and as far as parenting goes, I've worked out that everyone does it differently and that basically, what works for you and keeps you sane is generally the best bet! Plus, you don't need advice from a girl with a life as calamitous as mine!

But here is my one golden tip for having babies: BRIBERY.

When labour began with Jemima, I strapped on my TENS machine and began to bake. My theory was that if I took cookies for the midwives they would simply have to be lovely to me and treat me like a princess. Plus it was a good distraction while I waiting for things to get going!

It worked a treat! I handed over the cookies with my medical notes and instantly won a ward-full of new friends!

I know you love to bake and I know that even with your miserable gestational diabetes you have enjoyed baking for others. So in true Dawn style, here is the recipe for bribery cookies. Oh and it helps that these are the most delicious cookies you will ever taste. Just the right amount of crispiness around the edges with a chewy, meltingly delicious middle. In fact, these are the perfect bribery for any occasion!

Here's what you need (I even Americanified the measurements!):

Bribery Cookies
1 and a half sticks butter or spread (I use Clover)
1 and half cups caster sugar
1 cup soft brown sugar
1 egg
2 and a half cups self raising flour
A big bar of chocolate - ordinary milk chocolate. I use a 200g bar. You can also add any flavouring you like - my very favourite is white chocolate and dried sour cherries.

Oh, and of course - you need a cup of tea too. Important. Preheat your oven to 350. Or 180 if you're from the UK.

Mix the butter and both types of sugar until smooth. Then add the egg and mix again. It should look something like this:

Add the flour and mix again. It will be a very stiff dough.

At this point you will be ready to drink some of your tea. What's baking without a cuppa?

Chop your chocolate and stir it in. It's quite hard to get all the chocolate incorporated because of the stiffness of the dough, but don't worry - you can either eat the bits that didn't make it or squodge any unmixed chocolate into the cookies once you've spooned them onto baking trays.

You want dessert spoonfuls of dough on your baking sheets. Nicely space them. This recipe makes about 34 cookies. Enough for many midwives and definitely enough to warrant them sending you home with your own tank of gas and air.

At this point while baking I looked up and giggled, comparing my kitchen with the picture of Lemonade makin' mama's pristine kitchen. Tidying up is pretty much the same as moving stuff around in my world.

Dawn, this is the future of your baking! A little sweet boy asking to taste what's in the bowl everytime you make anything!!

Put the cookies in the oven for 10-12 minutes. In my fan-oven 11 mins is perfect. The key to knowing when they are done is this:

If they are a bit puffy still - great. Bash the tray on your worktop and if the cookies sink they are done to perfection. If they don't sink at all put them back in for 1 minute. If they're already dark brown and flat... um, start again?!

These will break your heart when you eat them straightaway with vanilla ice cream! They are delicious warm, cool, cold... actually they're just amazing whenever! I sent Dave a text to tell him I'd made cookies. His text response?: "I love you"!!

While the cookies were cooking, a little fluff-head woke up! I'm pretty sure the last time I made these cookies she was on her way and we hadn't yet met.

Two things, Dawn: Bribery works. It's all worth it!

So much love to you and B. So glad you liked the little gift. We cannot wait to see your beautiful boy!

thursdays are the new fridays!

2010-09-16T19:09:00.000+01:00

It's my day off tomorrow and I can't wait! I know, I know - I'm incredibly lucky!

Dan has chicken pox and is really quite unwell with it. Jemima hasn't succumbed yet...

My cast is off and I now have a rather fetching 'flesh-coloured' splint.

In all, we're doing OK, but I wouldn't complain if we got a little more sleep! Actually, I probably would - I'm such a moaner!!

no more nakedness!

2010-09-11T15:24:00.000+01:00

Thanks to the ever-brilliant people at fledglings, we now have a wonderful new pyjama suit for Mikey.

Custom made, it zips up the back, making it harder for Mikey to remove. This means we hopefully will have fewer mornings of going in to Mikey's room and finding him smiling, utterly naked, with his grobag, pyjamas, vest (onesie), shorts, tights and nappy strewn around the room.

Because he is such a houdini, he's still wearing tights under the suit in case he can get his hand up his trouser leg and whisk his nappy off.

He usually works out a way round our solutions, but I'm hoping this one will last a while.

Many thanks to Janet who makes these fab suits. You'd be surprised how much something like this can change life when you have a child with a disability. It always makes me teary when people find solutions for children like Mikey. It is such a relief to have an organisation like fledglings. We feel a bit less weird when we realise other people have the same challenges as us.

Plus, he looks like a superhero in training!

This is the best picture I could get - the boys were having a little rock-out after breakfast!

Hero payback ideas needed!

2010-09-10T21:40:00.000+01:00

Dave now looks after Dan and Jemima on Fridays. So today was my first DAY OFF. Can you even imagine what one of those is like?!

I did a bit of Bible study this morning and then sauntered in to town. Well, stumbled really, because it turns out I've forgotten how to walk without a pushchair.

There's a new coffee shop in Leyland. This means I no-longer have to resort to Tescos if I want to meet a friend. The outside of the shop is awful. Seriously, the design is horrendous. Early 90's at best. BUT, the staff were lovely, the seat was comfy, the coffee was good and I even got a free drink because the girl serving me was trying to perfect her latte skills! Oh, and they have wifi.

Then, after trawling the charity shops I found lots of nice clothes in the hospice shop and so feel moderately less grumpy about being a couple of stone heavier than I'd like to be!

Nicest of all was the chance to think, read, write and chill... And then come home and see my lovely family feeling energised and encouraged.

Dave is my hero! He's so lovely to me and often knows just what little gift or kind words will really make me feel brilliant. I'm stumped though, I just can't think of good ways to reciprocate. So share! What ideas, (apart from the obvious, ahem!!), do you have for encouraging your partner? Any suggestions from the tiny and practical to the lavish and expensive would be gratefully received!

if you can't say something nice...

2010-09-08T20:38:00.000+01:00

Yeah, that's why I've been a bit quiet! I'm a right grump at the moment. I'll snap out of it soon! xxx

checking in!

2010-09-03T14:45:00.001+01:00

1. We're surviving! (laughing our way through it all!)
2. Our hot water has not been working for the past three days. Hence our need for swimming in puddles! (Actually the pic is from the golden days before the pox and broken bone!)
3. That video link on the play on the word post should be working now - technology and I don't always have a great relationship.
4. Dave's mum has taken the boys out in the pushchair and Dave's dad has made a meal. We are loved and life is pretty good!!

I surrender!

2010-09-01T19:58:00.000+01:00

I broke my hand (a metacarpal if you're into fancy words!) running in to the house to catch Mikey. Bashed my hand on the doorframe.

Lovely A&E Doctor heard our family situation and decided to give me a cast to provide a bit of protection.

The irony is, about half an hour before this happened, I had been encouraging myself with the thought that it couldn't get harder than this (12 week old crying, Dan wanting potty, Mikey sad with the pox). Oh foolish girl!

Ouch. If you're the praying type please pray for us. I have a friend helping tomorrow (another 'special needs' mum, whose son is back to school) but still feel a little overwhelmed!

At least now I can say 'yes' when people ask if I've ever broken anything.

If you don't hear anything from me in a few days SEND HELP!! xxx

the diet starts tomorrow!

2010-08-31T23:11:00.000+01:00

Honestly, it does! I tried losing weight a few weeks ago but there is only one thing more depressing than dieting and that is dieting while everyone else is in holiday mode! Oh, and I'm going out with a bang. Beef in ale, horseradish mash, tarte au citron, lovely wine. And a giant bag of revels. Shhh, don't tell sweet Dawn.

Dave goes back to work tomorrow after six weeks' holiday. I know! Thank the Lord that he works at a school! Gosh, I don't know what I will do without him. Really, I don't.

Dan decided to start potty training at the weekend (check out the hilarious pic of him sitting on his potty outside the library). Great, except that it means leaving the room to take him to the potty. In a normal family, that wouldn't be a problem but in ours it means trying to prevent Mikey leaving the only space he's safe in and it means I must take Jemima with me because my little lion, out of absolute adoration, may seriously hurt Jemima if he's left alone with her.

"OK", I thought, "we'll make this work". Until this morning I saw Mikey was covered in spots. Hello Chicken Pox. Goodbye returning to school on Friday! Bets are on for how long it takes Dan and Mima to pock-up too.

My sweet little boy is so cool with it though! He was incredible when he saw the nurse (normally something that creates stress for us both and tears and tantrums for him and sometimes me!) and even managed to indicate bits of his body when I was explaining and signing that she wanted to look at his chest and back. Honestly, he's a hero!

Just not sure how we'll work our way through the next few days. I'm trying to rely on prayer rather than booze.

Oh, and just in case you're interested, I've posted a link to a video of our Bible time on play on the word. I'm only telling you because it's taken up my whole evening and I feel I need to justify the hours spent trying to work out how the heck I upload a video larger than a measly 2MB!!! Thank you YouTube!

the quiet adventures of a secret blogger

2010-08-29T18:37:00.000+01:00

This week I managed to get out of the house for the evening! A few months ago I saw a tiny printed flier for a craft night at the library and I thought it sounded like a nice idea but never got round to going and then I had a baby and she sort of took up my time. But lovely Jemima is going to bed at a reasonable hour now and Dave encouraged me to go along. Oh it was just lovely!!

It was all women, mostly a generation or two older than me, everyone doing all sorts of different craft. I sat next to a woman who turned out to be a neighbour even though we didn't recognise each other. There was a lovely atmosphere, people were chatty and smiley. It was brilliant to be somewhere where you could get help when you got stuck (good news for mum, who gets phone calls from me trying to explain where I've got stuck and expecting her to be able to remedy any mistake!)

You'll know how tempting it was to take my camera so I could have pics for this here blog! But I just wasn't sure I was ready to reveal the full geek to strangers - maybe next time!

I still can't tell a soul that I am a blogger without blushing and feeling the need to assure them I'm not utterly self-involved. Do you feel the same way? Are you a secret blogger as well?! I don't know why i can't just say "yep, I have a blog and I love it". And of course now it's been going on so long in almost-secret I feel I can't come out of the blogging closet.

So, shyness about wielding my camera in public means you have another picture of Jemima. She's wearing a hat I made - there lies the tenuous link with the craft club! Thanks for reading, my secret blogworld friend. I have to enter the real world now. Wish me luck! Xxx

living with lions

2010-08-26T21:54:00.000+01:00

Oh Mikey, what a delight!

Today Dave and Dan went on their first camping trip. It's a little experiment to see how Dan copes, Dave has been so excited just to have some one on one time with Dan - it's so brilliant to see how he loves his children! Before they left Dan asked me if the cows at the camping site would gobble him all up. Bless his little worries!

Because of that I've had some almost one on one time with Mikey and it has been a treat! So many giggles and smiles and a beautiful time of play after tea where he retold our Bible story with all our little objects.

It made me think. Being mum to Mikey is a bit like being one of those peculiar people who have leopards or lions or tigers as house pets. Here's how I imagine it: You're totally amazed at their beauty and feel honoured to play with them and be allowed to join in their games. You know there is something different but it makes it all the more special when they want a relationship and actively initiate interaction.

But, you're always aware that they're powerful and unpredictable and potentially destructive.

The funny thing is that knowing that makes the good times even better.

I love living with a lion! I can't get over how gorgeous Mikey is, how infectious his laugh is and how his joy takes over his whole body. I love how much he enjoys physical play and loves to joke and make you laugh, I am amazed at his ability to be spun, thrown and whizzed round and yet still not get dizzy! I feel honoured to play with him and get moments of really clear communication with him.

But there's always the little voice in my mind that warns me that he could have a tantrum at any minute because he's frustrated at not being able to communicate or a whisper that reminds me to sit between him and Jemima because he doesn't realise that throwing toys or kicking his legs might hurt her. These aren't sad things, they're just part of what it means to live with my amazing boy. He's my cub. I love him. I'm in awe of him.

good friends, bad distance

2010-08-19T21:21:00.000+01:00

The last three months have been especially lovely and exciting. Not just because of Jemima's arrival, although that has been completely brilliant (except for that hospital stay).

In the middle of May we had a message from friends we'd met a couple of years ago. The recording of their latest album had fallen through and they needed a place to stay while they waited to re-start with a new producer. Would we be up for hosting them while they got things sorted? So from Sydney to New Jersey to errrr, Leyland. Not so rock n roll.

Rich and Ali stayed with Andy and Vic, our gorgeous friends a few doors down and Dave stayed in our basement. Dorny and Gav both went back to Australia while they waited to see what would happen next.

If you'd asked me whether it was a good idea to have people living with you and eating round at your house every night when you're 38 weeks pregnant, I think I would have laughed at you! Maybe anyone else would have been stressful, but Dave, Rich and Ali make hospitality easy!

They were there when I went into labour, they were there when I got home from hospital and they cooked for us every night after Jemima was born. They cuddled Jemima while she screamed. They even took her out for a couple of hours so Dave and I could watch a film and pretend we didn't have any responsibilities! They cleaned, they baked, they played with the kids, they shopped for us. They were the closest I will ever get to having servants!

Friends that you can talk with about real things. Friends who are happy to veg out in silence along with you. Friends that challenge and inspire you. Friends who mock your accent. Friends who anticipate your needs and meet them before you've asked for help. Friends who, simply by being with you, make you want to love Jesus and live for him more. Friends who see you when you're stressed, when you're cross with your kids, when you're weak and exhausted from just having had a baby, when you've not washed your hair in a few days, when you're wearing pajamas because your 40 weeks pregnant body won't fit in anything else. And they don't run a mile. True friends.

On and off the Beestons were in Leyland for 4 weeks (I think!) and then went on to record in Liverpool. Thankfully this time round the recording was better than it ever would have been without all the stress and upheaval they experienced and if it hadn't have been for all that we wouldn't have seen them. Check out the band's website. I am not biased when I say their music is brilliant. I'd buy it even if I didn't know them! (And I feel a tiny bit star-struck around them because of it!)

So friendships made a couple of years ago have been deepened really significantly. I'm grateful for the way it meant we saw more of Andy and Vic and for how our friendships have been changed and strengthened. They are such a blessing to us, I now wonder how I lived without seeing them so often. I really wish Ali lived here and hadn't just got on a plane home. Maybe I'll just move to Australia.

In noting down what's happened, I've not been able to explain how important, significant and precious this time has been. I'm so glad God orchestrated it and I miss it already.

Needless to say, Dan is missing his rock-star buddies too. "Mummy, I'll be Dave on the drums, you be Gav on the bass", "Mummy, we'll go to Rich's house soon", "Mummy, where's Dorny's mummy?", "Mummy, WHERE's Ali gone?". Beautiful inspiration.

The first picture shows us all out at a Turkish restaurant. Rich and Dave's parents had come over from Australia and treated us to this gorgeous meal. It's amazing to be treated like family by people you've never met.

"I am the music man..."

2010-08-15T21:35:00.000+01:00

The hardest instrument Dan has suggested for this song? Tubular bells.

Sing with me: "tubular, tubular, tubular bells, tubular bells, tubular bells, tubular, tubular, tubular bells, tubular, tubular bells."

And I thought "didgeridoo" was bad.

His love of music and instruments continues - long may it last!

ps - how cute are these pics? I've got such strange boys - Dan winking for the camera and Mikey just licking and licking Jemima's hair!!!! They LOVE their sister.

play on the word... another go!

2010-08-03T22:39:00.001+01:00

I've scrapped all the old stuff on my other blog and started again! If you're interested in ideas for sharing the Bible with your kids go and take a peek!

I intend to actually update it this time, I promise!!

summer holidays

2010-08-02T20:43:00.000+01:00

We're a little over a week into the summer holidays and so far all is going well!

I love having Dave at home. Because he works at a school he gets the same holidays as Mikey - hooray! He is absolutely brilliant and works so hard with Jemima and the boys. Unfortunately being at home with all of us is no break at all, so I'm a bit worried he'll be going back to work feeling very, very tired.

Mikey has been fun so far. Over the holidays he gets three days at a playscheme for children with disabilities (or 'additional needs', which seems to be the correct term at the moment - I just can't keep up!!!). It's at his school and he gets to go swimming, so he's very happy!

Dan is talking NON STOP! Honestly, it's famine or feast with my boys isn't it? Dan is like my own personal quiz master: "what you doing? What's that? What's that noise? What you talking about? What's that lady sitting on? What you laughing at? What colour is your favourite? Can Dan have a biscuit - that's a good idea, yes? OK?". And woe betide me if I do not answer! I have, a couple of times, asked him to stop talking for just one minute. It didn't work - and anyway, I felt mean.

Mikey is a different story - my patience for his emerging speech knows no bounds! He said "off" today and we were over the moon, trying to get him to repeat it and looking at each other with those excited, amazed expressions that you would normally only see when a child walks for the first time. Poor Dan, being 'normal' can be such a curse. He's still drumming on anything he can find and plays air guitar on a toy broom. I love hearing him sing.

Jemima is smiley and sweet and sleeping a little better. The only thing is, we don't know how to reclaim evenings! We know it happened last time, but we can't remember how. She's wide awake or crying or needing soothing in the evening and then has her last feed about 10ish and sleeps till 5 or 6 in the morning (I know, we're really lucky). I can't work out how we go from that to a nice, calm bedtime at a normal hour! Hmmm, maybe it will just have to happen by magic! Not sure I'm ready for leaving her to cry and certain I'm not ready for the boys to also wake up and have to be calmed at the same time! Colic has been a rude, uninvited guest but I think it's gone now. Good riddance!

She's two months old now. That's gone much too fast, right? I still haven't quite got used to being a mother of THREE. Don't tell anyone, but every now and then I forget about Jemima and get a surprise when I see her!

We've just started our summer Bible times with the kids - creation play here we COME! Yippeee!!!!!!

just a quick hello

2010-07-16T22:57:00.001+01:00

Our internet has been down for nearly a week. A week! How have I survived?

In the last couple of weeks all sorts of things have happened, including:

I got a new camera which has secret powers which I've not discovered, so for a while I'll use the auto setting and pretend I didn't get lovely pictures just by chance! Shhh!

I turned 30 and didn't feel remotely mournful or introspective

I've done lots of thinking about Church and hospitality... I feel excited!

I've just watched Julie & Julia and wonder if it's the favourite film of every female blogger/wannabe writer?

I did a tesco shop with 2 boys in a pushchair and a baby strapped to me and survived.

Dave and I have been thinking about the future and think we may have a vague idea of what we want to do... believe me, a vague idea is really something in comparison to our previous confusion!

I was almost brought to tears holding Jemima and thinking about how beautiful she is and then three seconds later she wailed so loudly I took it all back. Oh, she is sweet and growing up a bit too quickly for my liking!

Mikey's school report and parents evening were so amazing - I feel like I have a new energy for being his mum. Just in time for 6 weeks of holidays!

It's nearly 11pm and for a mum of a nearly 6 week old that's extremely late, so I'm going to go to bed and sleep like a baby for the next 3 hours!

signing with Mikey

2010-07-03T21:05:00.000+01:00

"Water...

...please."

A beautiful moment of one-on-one playtime with Mikey. He initiated playing with the watering can by signing this to me. This is one of the first times I've seen Mikey using signs/words to communicate what he wants without me cajoling him into it or him imitating my signing. I could hardly believe my eyes and it was fabulous!

Such fun.

fashion tips from fatso

2010-06-25T19:24:00.000+01:00

There have been a couple of times I've had to go out and about without Jemima. Each time I have a stranger asks me when my baby is due (and so far, I've not hit any of them). Note to self: a newborn baby is the best distraction from a post-baby jelly-belly...

Home!

2010-06-22T18:37:00.001+01:00

We're all back home. Jemima has antibiotics for the next four days and then hopefully that will be the last of the hospital visits for a very long time! We're worn out. I've not had a real cry about it all, so am anticipating meltdown sometime soon. I'm praying against anxiety, especially in the evenings which is when I seem to do my worrying.

Phew and thank God, eh? I can't thank you enough for your lovely messages and your prayers.

xxx

⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

my baby is in hospital

2010-06-21T20:11:00.000+01:00

It's been a tough weekend. Jemima started with a high temperature on Friday night and has been in hospital since Saturday morning. They are super careful with such tiny babies with fevers. In practice that means lots of invasive tests and samples of almost any bodily fluid they can get their hands on. She's getting IV antibiotics and had a lumbar puncture, xrays and all sorts of other checks. It's been horrible to see her so ill and so very unlike herself (lots of moaning, whimpering and screaming from my previously serene baby). Today her temperature has remained pretty stable - only spiking once. Dave is doing the nighttime shift so I can try to get some sleep. I hope she will be home very soon.

Once again I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the prayers of friends and family and for the gracious answers from God. It's been hard to admit that I am not in control of my precious family - as much as I would like to be able to change my baby's temperature and make her better I have absolutely no power to do it. I can only wait and watch. How wonderful that God can do it. It's been a good lesson in trusting that God is utterly in control and loves us and that he is like a fabulous Daddy in the ways he cares, attends and yearns for us.

And the NHS - seriously, amazing!

My mum is here, which we had planned already. I'm so glad to have a hug from her. I'm sure she would have preferred her first sight of her little granddaughter to be at home and not seeing a rashy baby in a children's ward. I can't wait for all my family to be in one place, but I'm only ready for that to happen when I can be really confident that Jemima is OK. If you pray, do pray for us.

xxxx

she's still sweet

2010-06-13T20:15:00.000+01:00

Just in case you were wondering!

Jemima Amelia...

2010-06-08T20:45:00.000+01:00

was born yesterday morning (7th June) weighing 7lb. She's a cutey, insatiably hungry and best of all, she's HOME! Straightforward waterbirth and lovely midwives. Dave was a hero - but that almost goes without saying.

The LORD blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first... and he also had seven sons and three daughters. The first daughter he named Jemima... Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job's daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers.

Job 42:12-15

hooray for holidays!

2010-06-01T17:52:00.000+01:00

It's so lovely having Dave off work this week! Just a quick post so you don't think I've had the baby and am not telling you! Due date is on Saturday and so far no hints that anything is happening soon. Thankfully I feel really well.

We have friends staying in our basement at the moment (lovely people visiting from Australia - an unexpected visit and such an encouragement to see them), so I'm not getting much computer time. I promise I'll let you know when baby comes!

xxx

don't you love Dan's picture?!

baby knits

2010-05-27T19:32:00.000+01:00

I've finally finished the things I've knitted for our baby. I'm pleased with them. They're not perfect, but I'm not a perfectionist!

Here's the cardigan. The actual colour is much more vivid than this, it's Rowan pure wool DK and you can see the colour 'Marine', here. The pattern is free and can be got here. Lovely to knit, using circular needles. Because it's all in one piece there is no faffing about sewing things together - hooray!

The little hat which will be one of the first items our baby will wear. It's the candy cane hat from Handknit Holidays and is the first time I've actually followed the pattern and done stripes rather than one solid colour. It changes it a lot! The yarn is the lovely Sirdar Baby Bamboo.

And some socks. Baby socks never stay on, but maybe these will! I might add a ribbon to help secure them on those spindly baby ankles. This is a fabulous pattern which I found ages ago and can be downloaded here. Really handy quick knit!

Oh I can't wait to see what our baby looks like wearing the things I've made! I might laugh quite a lot if the baby is a boy...

Not long now!

hope!

2010-05-24T08:55:00.000+01:00

After weeks of scraps and fights between the boys, it's been reassuring to see that they may actually treat the new baby with a bit of care and affection (sometimes)!

Here's Dan with his photo-face and his gorgeous cousin, Bella. Oh, she is just so cute!

And Mikey with Eva - who is the lovely (and brave!) daughter of our fab friends Colin and Caroline.

Still, we'll wait and see how they get on with their new sibling!

there's nothing like the last minute!

2010-05-19T08:50:00.000+01:00

"Oh flip! Mikey needs an outfit for history week. He's meant to be a tudor..."

Hooray for Google, old blankets + belts and a boy who really doesn't mind what he wears as long as he can go to school. I've never known anyone to look so good in any item of clothing. No matter what, Mikey can always look pretty cool. Gets it from me.

Bakerella made my day!!!!!!!!!

2010-05-10T19:49:00.002+01:00

Goodness me, I am so excited! I've just seen a picture of the cakepops I made for Jen and Nick's wedding on Bakerella's website!!!

Bakerella has just introduced a Popstars section to her site for people who try out her fab idea and send her pictures of the results. I am seriously tingling seeing my little picture on her proper grown up and beautiful website! I'm also feeling smiley at all the lovely comments!

If you want to see what I mean, here's a link! Smile for me, won't you!!! Oh, and I'll try not to do sooo many links in the next post! I'm adding the finishing touches to the baby's cardigan so I'll post knitting pics soon. Less than four weeks till due date - how exciting!

bakewell tart

2010-05-06T08:50:00.000+01:00

This is the main theme of my days at the moment. There's not much better than bakewell! Excited to have been given the recipe by my lovely mother in law, Jean ... and it WORKED!!!

my brilliant family!

2010-04-30T09:02:00.000+01:00

Honestly, I know it's not good to boast but my family are rather extraordinary!!

Firstly, my lovely sister in law, Jen has given birth to her first baby. Bella Primrose. Now that is a beautiful name, isn't it? They're home now and all look relaxed and enviably confident! She is one lovely looking baby - I'll post some pictures once I have approval from Jen and Nick.

Secondly, can I show you this link? It's the blog which is part of the rest of my family's website. Check out the whole site, please - but I needed you to see Ruth's drawing on the latest post. Don't you just want to own it and look at it every day? Click if you want to see Dad, Mum, Hannah & Stuart's blogs.

My parents and sisters all live in Bristol. Living far away from them is hard - and feels harder the more babies that are born! I do love the North West though and really wouldn't want to leave. In terms of creative talent, I am the black sheep of the family! I have some ability but nothing like the rest of them. I seem to have the gift of being average at a number of unimpressive things!! I'm not fussed though, because it gives me the chance to admire them and brag about them, plus I get away without having to work hard. Perhaps that is my great talent - laziness!

The picture above is Dan's drawing of his little pal Eva - she's 9 month old. Perhaps the talent skipped a generation!!

digging

2010-04-28T12:47:00.000+01:00

Work on our garden starts on Saturday - I'll do before and after shots once we've reached the 'after' stage! Money means we are focusing on utilitarian practicality rather than beauty and horticulture! As long as our boys no longer have enormous pot-holes to fall down I'll be a happy lady. Oh and it will be great if it's done before baby no.3 comes.

Dan is increasingly interested in plants, bugs and general outdoor messiness. It was lovely seeing him trying to plant things while I was re-potting tomatoes and lavendar.

Is anything lovelier than grubby, chubby knees and fingers?

We both got a bit confused though. Dan asked me what was 'in' soil. I started trying to explain that it's made of dead plants and animals and bugs... WHY?!!! Keep it simple, Alice! Dan now thinks that there are monkeys in the ground.

knitting again

2010-04-22T19:19:00.000+01:00

Calm down! This picture is of Dan as a newborn... I promise I would create a better title if posting about a new baby!

It's been a while since I really did some proper knitting. Knitting reflects my character in so many ways. I want a challenge, but when it gets hard I don't like putting the work in to understand how to overcome it. I get bored easily so I regularly leave things unfinished to go on to the next project. I'm a bodger as well - totally slap-dash rather than careful and precise. These are character traits I really don't like - any of you super-efficient, perseverers got any tips for change?!

In many ways pregnancy is my knitting nemesis. With two boys who are like kittens when it comes to balls of wool, I can't really knit in the daytime and by the time evening comes I'm too weary to do much more than watch Lie To Me and eat. BUT pregnancy is also a great motivator - there's something lovely about your baby's first clothing being handmade by you. I love the picture of Dan, above, because it shows the little hat I made for him and the incredible blanket Mum crocheted. Those were the first things to snuggle him into the world and that feels pretty beautiful!

So, for this baby I've knitted a hat and some socks and I'm working on a sweet cardigan. I'll show pictures another time, once everything is done. I'm really enjoying the process of creating a fabric and seeing something beautiful develop. I'm also really hoping the baby is a girl, because I've gone for rather feminine designs and colours! My lovely sister in law is due right now (will be induced on Tuesday if nothing's happened!) so I'm loving knitting for her baby too.

What would you knit or make if you had a baby on the way?! Any inspiration always welcome!

my pregnancy essentials!

2010-04-16T19:50:00.001+01:00

So far this has been a happy little pregnancy. I think it's very similar to my last one really, but emotionally I'm completely different! I think that a number of things made me a bit negative last time round: only being a few months into first-time motherhood (Mikey moved in 3 months before I became pregnant), having early bleeds and terrible pain, moving house, big building work, carpal tunnel, only getting our oven the day before Dan was due, etc. It made the rest seem harder; whereas this time I know what to expect and I know that in the end stretch marks fade, weight gets lost, varicose veins improve and grumpy babies become gorgeous little children!!

Basically, I'm just really excited!

If this pregnancy could be sponsored, these would be the key players:

1) My giant tubigrip:

Sexy, isn't it? I have a bit of SPD and also diastasis, which is a posh way of saying my back and pelvis are painful and sore and my tummy muscles have separated - given up and gone to live somewhere near my spine. This tubigrip extends from the bottom of my bra to the bottom of my knickers (lucky Dave!) and gives me a bit of support and stops my tummy falling on the floor. I LOVE my physios and think the NHS is rather wonderful. Having said all that, I won't shed a tear when I can give up wearing it!

2) Raspberry leaf tea:

It's possible that this can help speed up the pushing bit of labour because it's meant to strengthen the uterus. You can only start drinking it once you're 32 weeks and you start slowly and build up. This stuff is much tastier than the one I had last time round! I have no idea if it really helps, but last time things happened relatively quickly and I'm willing to try anything that may help, especially if all it takes is sipping a cuppa!

3) Sudoku puzzle books:

I love that the book claims to be 'extreme'! It makes me feel moderately less grannyish! This isn't a new addiction, but for some reason my usual diet of word-puzzles just hasn't been working for me. Maybe because words aren't my strongest point at the moment - I start a sentence and just forget the word I want and have to give up! I now have to do at least one puzzle before bed every night. So far I'm sleeping OK, so maybe it's serving it's purpose.

I promise though that we're not planning to call the baby Sue Doku Buckley. But maybe if the sponsorship money was high enough we could be persuaded...

If I'm not the coolest person you know, I can't imagine who is! How about you? What did/do you love during pregnancy?!

new pew

2010-04-14T21:33:00.000+01:00

The main building of the church that we're part of dates from 1200 AD, which is quite old isn't it? There's all sorts of amazing history surrounding it. Obviously, it's been extended and added to throughout the years and has got bigger, warmer and more people-friendly. The current change is that the pews are being removed and chairs are being put in. The main reason for this is to make the building accessible for wheelchair users, but it will also make the building more flexible for the various conferences, groups and meetings held in it.

The pews aren't very old at all - probably about 100 years or something. But inevitably there has been real sadness for some people who feel that the bits and pieces of the building are very important. My personal view is that it's lovely to have a building with so much history, but that buildings are designed to serve people. If we can make it a more useful space, that's great! I don't think that church buildings hold any special power or significance... our little congregation meets in a school canteen!

Today Dave came home with one of the pews which he had cut down. They are being sold to anyone who fancies one and is willing to take them away. The pew has already become part of the playroom and we're going to have another one for our hallway. Eventually we'll paint it red. I hope if people see the boys enjoying it like this, they would appreciate a brilliant new lease of life for something which had become redundant, rather than feeling that we're being disrespectful.

I'm just a bit sad there's no great graffiti on it - I remember a pew in the church I grew up in which had "Hendrix is God" calved into it. As a seven year old, I used to wonder who Hendrix was or whether it was just another name for God. After all, I'm the girl who told mum I now knew God's name. "Oh really?", she said. "Yes, it's Peter. At church we say it all the time, don't we: Thanks Peter God". I thought it quite suited him.

The 2nd picture shows our little terrace which heads towards the church building. Ours are lovely 19th Century step-houses built for weavers. Unfortunately ours (just out of the picture) has been rendered in disgusting cream and looks like the unloved child of the street.

camera advice, please!

2010-04-10T18:54:00.000+01:00

Right then, I want a better camera. I'll be 30 in July (although I think that milestone may just pass me by in a haze of night feeds and nappies) and am thinking of using that as a chance to get a flashy new one.

Our little panasonic has been lovely for having in my bag and catching moments, but I'd love something were I have a little more control over the image I end up with.

I'm just a tiny bit (hmmm, actually VERY) clueless though, people! I think I want a DSLR, but then I see the amazing shots my Dad gets from his Canon, which I think is a superzoom or at least a higher-level non SLR. I basically don't know what I want! If I went for a SLR it would be bog-standard - probably either this Nikon or this Canon. Would I actually end up getting more for my money with something like this?

What camera have you got? What made you choose it? If you were buying again what would you go for? Any reasons to choose a SLR over anything else?

Please help me!

let's talk about something else...

2010-04-09T13:39:00.000+01:00

Before the Frankie Boyle thing from yesterday, I was going to post about the lovely couple of days we'd had with Mum and Dad!

We took a trip to the Sealife Centre in Blackpool. For a while, it looked like it would be a re-play of the zoo visit, only with Dan being the wailing child this time! In the end he toughened up and enjoyed it. Mikey LOVED it. He was totally transfixed by the fish. I think he could have stayed there for hours!

We did quite a lot of nothing as well. Lots of football and a nice amount of playing outside. Dan has had such a lovely time and just about every 3 seconds we heard him yelling, "Gerwandad, play football with ME!". I expect Dad is exhausted now!

The next time we see Mum and Dad will be after our baby is born! I've added the picture above because I think I am hilariously huge already. I have no idea how much bigger I'll get in the next 8 weeks... I'm just hoping this isn't a sign that I'm having a giant baby. Hmmm!

talking too much... or Mikey vs. Frankie Boyle

2010-04-08T19:40:00.004+01:00

Celebrity brings with it opportunities to have a massive impact on lots of people. It also must bring about more chances to say words you regret and to say them with everyone listening too.

We've all wished we could take back foolish words when we see the effect they've had, when we realise what we said wasn't what we meant and when we see how it reveals more of our inner-selves than we really wanted other people to see.

I wonder how Frankie Boyle is feeling. Is he wishing he had never opened his mouth, wishing he hadn't made it to the venue that night, wishing no-one had heard what he said? Or is he doing what we all do, and justifying his words. Desperately trying to believe he was right to have said it and that it didn't matter that much.

If you're not sure what I'm talking about, have a look at this Guardian article and this excellent post from the mother of a 5 year old girl with Down's Syndrome.

Most comedy revolves around laughing at other people's misfortune and it's always a tough call to decide when things have gone too far. Who knows what distasteful and offensive things I've laughed at, even in the last week. There's also a weird right among parents of children with disabilities that you're allowed to laugh about your child - but if anyone else does, they should be prepared for a fight!

I don't feel I can write Frankie Boyle off as an idiot or stand in judgment over him as though I would never do anything as foolish. I do know that as Mikey's mum I need to give him a voice. He can't speak back, but I can. I can say that with 94% of babies with Down's Syndrome being killed before they even have the chance to live, people with DS don't need anyone else deriding them, mocking them or trying to suggest their place in this world is less valid or beautiful than someone with no additional needs.

I'm grateful the issue has been raised. I'm challenged that so many people in the audience laughed along. Our words give away what's in our hearts. Our laughter gives away what's in our hearts. Good on that mother, that lone voice in the crowd, for standing up for her daughter and in a way standing up for my Mikey too. I hope I am so bold.

party time!

2010-03-16T19:38:00.004Z

How hilarious is this picture? Everyone else looks like themselves and then there's me GURNING! Pretty much sums us up! L-R Mum, Dad, me, Ruth, Hannah.

I escaped for the weekend and headed down to Bristol to see my family. It was sad to say goodbye to my boys but really lovely to have such a break! Dave's so lovely to free me up to do things like this.

The main reason for going down was to celebrate my wonderful mum's 60th birthday. We spent Saturday getting ready for her party on Sunday and also got the chance to see Felix in Midsummer Night's Dream. I really don't think it's cos he's my brother-in-law that I think he was the best bit - I think it's just that he was excellent and hilarious! You can read the reviews on dad's blog here.

I had the most blissful Saturday morning. I just baked. It was a bit odd not having Dan stood on a chair next to me saying "Dan eat now?", but it felt like the most relaxing and enjoyable morning I can remember having for ages! Meanwhile, Hannah and Ruth were cooking amazing casseroles for the party.

The party was a lovely chance to see people. Lots of family friends and people precious to mum. A friend told mum that if she is surrounded by such lovely people when she's 60 she will feel truly happy. Mum's friends are a testimony to how brilliant she is!

Ruth did the most beautiful selection of flowers. All pinks, blues and purples in different sized jam-jars. Every room smelled delicious!

Hannah told me a sweet story of one girl at the party looking at the cupcakes and saying "mummy, I need my purse" and turning to someone else and asking, "how much are the cakes?" - that's quite a compliment!!

One of the unexpected perks of going away is that Mikey has been really uncharacteristically pleased to see me! I've had so many cuddles, smiles and he's even called me "mummma" a few times. Beautiful. I really needed it.

looooong time passing...

2010-03-04T19:50:00.004Z

Sorry for being so lame and quiet. Hopefully the urge to blog is restored now. I've gone back to the old blogger editor in an attempt to add a couple of videos from Mikey's birthday. You can't do much formatting so excuse me if it doesn't look very pretty! I don't know why the new one doesn't let you do videos... hmmm.

It was the first time we've tried to do anything for Mikey's birthday - he still wasn't aware that it was his birthday but it felt so lovely to be able to give him a special day that he really enjoyed.

In the morning Dave took him out for a bus trip, combining three of Mikey's great loves - Daddy (total hero status!), buses and sweets! Bless little Mikey in this video - he tries to say "please" about three times before Dave lets him have a sweet!

Then we hired out a sensory room with some friends. It's just amazing to be somewhere that Mikey can play freely - he doesn't need assistance to climb or work out what to do and we don't have to constantly chase him and say "no"!

I like Dan's excited yelling in this one:

I don't imagine we'll be able to have such easy parties for much longer, but I really enjoyed that there were no presents (we have SO much already!) and no party bags! I just sent people home with sparkly cupcakes.

It was extra lovely because all the things we hoped Mikey would like, he really DID! Just to prove that that's often not the case, have a look at a video I took 10 seconds into our zoo trip. As predicted, Dan loved it - in spite of sleet and freezing Blackpool temperatures but Mikey stayed like this the whole time. Ah well, you can't please everyone all the time!

fish by dan

2010-02-02T19:30:00.000Z

I want to tell you about Mikey's birthday, but I've not uploaded videos yet. For now, I leave you with a little picture Dan did today. He told me it's a fish and it really is!

baby wants CAKE

2010-01-27T21:50:00.001Z

A friend just pointed out that, since being pregnant, 95% of my status updates on facebook have been about food. There's nothing wrong with that, right?

2 year developmental check - I think I failed.

2010-01-26T21:51:00.000Z

There are some days when being a mummy is nothing but fun and joy.

Like when Dan is giggly and playful.

Like when he bakes with me or sits reading cookbooks with me. Could anything be sweeter?!

But, sometimes the days where it's not like that seem to mount up and I forget why I love my job.

It's been a bit like that recently and Dan has been the tricky one! I'm almost used to Dan being the boy in the background while we tackle Mikey's idiosyncrasies - but of late Dan's certainly asserted his right to be noticed. The Terrible Twos or whatever you want to call it. I've never had to deal with these sorts of tantrums with a child who has language - it's such a different experience! Of course simply because Dan and Mikey have different personalities, what works with Mikey often has no impact on Dan. They are so unlike one another! Mikey really can't bear comfort and sympathy whereas Dan will be won round with a cuddle (but will also manage to use it as a way of extending tantrums and wielding his power!).

Dan had his two year developmental check this morning. The wailing began the moment the nursery nurse arrived and stopped as she left. She's taken my word for it that he can talk, walk, play, draw. I felt like I had to explain his behaviour so she wouldn't begin thinking he has some kind of ASD or accuse me of abuse!!!

What I had planned for this morning was for Dan to 'perform' and for her to tell me what a lovely, clever and delightful little boy I have. What I got was another appointment to discuss his behaviour. Although it's humbling and challenging I'm grateful that it happened so I can have some help. She thinks if we can deal with his behaviour in the daytime it may even help his sleep, which would be a great blessing!

What I know is that I do have a lovely, clever, delightful little boy! He is incredible and funny and charming. He also manages to reveal my weaknesses and he does it publicly so there is no pretending I've got it together. I can't be like one of my friends who posted her child's breathtaking 2 year check success as her facebook status (I think I'm glad about that!). I can only hold up my hands and admit I'm muddling through.

How good is it at times like this to have a husband who eases my mind, a mum I can ask questions and friends I can offload on and a God who sticks with me in spite of it all!!! Phew!

baking away the January blues

2010-01-22T08:56:00.000Z

I'm not feeling in the least bit blue, but if I were, this book would be the answer! It's just got such lovely pictures of gorgeous looking cakes, pies and cookies. I attempted the raspberry cheesecake brownie yesterday and it was completely delicious. Really moist brownie (with caramel pieces because I was distracted while shopping and bought the wrong thing!), amazing, delicate vanilla cheesecake with a layer of raspberry cream. I kept to the recipe except pureed the raspberries because Dave is genuinely phobic about eating actual pieces of fruit.

My lame camera (and trying to take pictures in the evening) doesn't show how lovely it looked and it really was so, so tasty. We have a ton left too. It's the first thing I tried from the book and I'm planning to try some cupcakes later. The book has pretty awful reviews on amazon, so I'm glad at least one recipe has worked out - I think that one alone is worth the £8 I paid!

Having friends round is such a lovely excuse to try something new, so I also made PW's meatloaf from her book. It was really good - Dave is now slightly obsessed with the sticky sauce that goes on top of it. I've never really had meatloaf before, but we'll be having it lots in the future! Maybe I need to try to perfect some classic English dishes now! Lancashire hotpot here I come!

things I found under the sofa and it's a ...

2010-01-19T14:57:00.000Z

I had to take a picture. No less than 6 socks. Half eaten toast, a toothbrush, more balls than I could count and an array of toy tools and farm animals. Let that be a lesson to me.

We had our 20 week scan last week and as far as they could see all is well (I can never tell much from the pictures - it is a baby, I promise!). The sonographer said she was 90-95% sure we are having a GIRL! We're really, extremely pleased and I was surprised to feel rather emotional at the news! In 4 and a half months, we'll know for sure!

I have escaped for 5 minutes to recharge my patience and energy. Dan's tantrums have been non-stop today and we keep misunderstanding each other. We met up with a friend and her little girl this morning. Dan's absolute refusal to interact made for a really fun time. Social skills anyone?!

snow days

2010-01-08T13:03:00.004Z

The impact of the snow continues - Mikey's not been at school at all this week (and there was I getting excited about our first experience of him being in for four days!) and Dave is feeling glum that all his other teacher friends seem to be off work while he has to brave the inches of seriously treacherous ice and walk in! He had 1 and a half snow days - which included getting schooly mates round for lunch on tuesday and eating lots of bacon, sausages, bacon and cheese muffins (I'm making those again!) and potato cakes.

We attempted to embrace the weather and went out for a family play in the garden. We managed 5 minutes before both boys were weeping and banging on the backdoor. I'm soooo un-outdoorsy, it seems to have rubbed off on them! Mikey doesn't like anything unfamiliar really, so I guess it was a bit weird an Dan got sad when his hands got cold after he knocked down my snowman. It was a snow penguin cos I found a weirdly shaped carrot. Dan called him Norman, because he can't quite pronounce snowman yet!

We're on day four and I'm starting to get a little stir-crazy. Our giant pushchair and solid ice on the pavements doesn't make for an easy walk! I admit as an escape I seem to have nipped down to the basement to check facebook about 10 times already today. I'm deeply sad. Hooray for the weekend. Only a couple of hours or so till Dave finishes work!

almost the worst day of the holidays

2010-01-05T10:48:00.005Z

But thank God for Yorkshire leaf tea. You know about my love for yorkshire tea, don't you? I've been quite enjoying the process of teastrainers and warming teapots. We got more teabags yesterday though - Dave refused to learn how to make a 'new' type of tea. He's only recently mastered teabags and he is an excellent brew-maker in spite of being a non tea drinker. Miraculous!

Not blogged for ages - mainly cos I've been having a lovely time with Dave and the boys while Dave's been off. Back today - except Mikey's taxi just dropped him home - SNOW DAY! Dave's school is still open. Meanies.

We got a video camera for Christmas. Prepare yourselves for many videos which will, I expect, be totally dull to anyone not actually in the immediate family!

hooray for teachers!

2009-12-17T19:28:00.004Z

Especially Mikey's teachers! He has no less than FIVE teaching assistants in his class as well as the overall teacher. There's only about 8 kids and they're mostly part-timers! I realise we are being totally spoilt by our school experience so far and we will come crashing down to earth once Dan starts at a bog-standard primary school!

Here is what we are giving the teachers in class 1 as a tiny Christmas thank you.

Lebkuchen. With sparkles! Excellent recipe here.

Peppermint creams - because I used to make these when I was little and wanted to see if it was really as easy and fun as I remembered. It was!

Mikey's transport escort is getting the same and the taxi driver is getting some spiced, roasted nuts - which are in the oven now and smell amazing!

I'm now off to my work's Christmas do! It's a group of us stay at home mums who felt we ought to have a party too! Hooray!

family resemblance

2009-12-11T13:24:00.004Z

Just had to post these pics from lunchtime. I couldn't believe how similar they are to this post of Mum's about Dan's cousin, Iris! Dan's not quite so precise but he felt the need to count each segment and arrange them together!

Genes are scary things.

When we went in to Dan's room this morning he welcomed Dave with a smile and the word "painting". Obviously sick of the fairy princess wallpaper that's in his room (we've not decorated his room since we moved in 2 1/2 years ago!), he had started to rip it off and stick it to the condensation on his window. Creative. Kind of!

I can't stop laughing at him. He's so much fun to be around at the moment!

my little munchkin

2009-12-10T08:46:00.004Z

It was Mikey's school play yesterday - the Wizard of Oz. As usual it was breathtaking. I can't imagine a better school for Mikey. My favourite bit (apart from every second Mikey was on stage!) was when students from the local high school joined with some of the children who are in wheelchairs to do a tornado dance. The play is a perfect example of real inclusion for children and young people with additional needs.

I loved it when the wicked witch decided she didn't want to do it so the only male member of staff stepped in and was brilliant. I loved that Dorothy got the giggles when the witch died. I was told afterwards that those who were sitting at the front could see Mikey untaping the yellow brick road. I loved that too!

Really, the play should be mandatory for anyone who needs cheering up and reminding of the very best qualities humans can express. Simply amazing.

The pictures show Mikey at home in his Munchkin outfit and with one of his teaching assistants who did an amazing job of keeping Mikey on track (and on the stage!)

blushing bride

2009-12-04T16:40:00.003Z

If you're paying a visit from Dandy's lovely blog - yes, it's true! It was all because of terrible planning and I felt utterly rude all day long (I spent the entire time worrying that a camera flash would make my dress see-through!)! Oh and shhhhhh - my parents read this blog!

Good luck Dawn and B - we love you!

mary, gabriel and some nice news!

2009-12-01T13:39:00.007Z

I've just done a new post on play on the word - about time too! The start of December means a chance to feel super-christmassy and to use our breakfast Bible-time to tell the boys about Jesus coming to the world.

This week we're looking at the story of Gabriel telling Mary she was going to have a baby. I was struck by the things Mary wouldn't have had to worry about! She wouldn't have had to look through baby books to work out a name that she and Joseph both agreed on - the angel said to call him Jesus. She wouldn't have had to wait for a 20 week scan to see what sex the baby was - the angel said he'd be a boy - God's son! She wouldn't have to wonder what her baby would grow up to be when he was older - the angel said he'd be God's king over everything, forever! Admittedly she had other things to worry about... "What's Joseph going to say?", "Oh my goodness I'm pregnant with the son of God!" - that kind of thing. It's rather amazing she was so cool about it.

We on the other hand are looking through baby name books, wanting to know the gender, wondering what our baby will grow to be like - because I'm 13 weeks pregnant and so excited!!! I am finding the whole experience more amazing and enjoyable this time round (no scares, pain or bleeding this time - phew) and it was lovely to see our little baby at our scan last week. I'm due on June 5th. Exactly a month before I turn 30.

We're praying for safety for the rest of the pregnancy and just like we always pray for Mikey and Dan, we're asking that this little baby would grow up to love Jesus. Amen, amen, amen!!!!

The picture shows Mary & Gabriel from our nativity scene - made by Hannah and Felix. We'll be adding new characters each week!

adoption: getting to know Mikey

2009-11-18T19:44:00.003Z

If you've ever had a baby I want you to think back to those first weeks. It was exciting and amazing wasn't it? It was hard too though, eh? Remember just not being sure what to do? Remember wishing you had an instruction book? Remember the emotional roller coaster?! Remember the slow realisation that this-is-IT.

The first weeks with Mikey were much the same! Some bits were easier, some bits were harder!

We sat in Frankie & Benny's on Friday lunchtime trying to eat and chat and ignore the sickening nervousness. We asked each other questions like "what do you think he'll be like?", "do you think they'll expect us to be really hands-on from the start?", "what if he doesn't like us?", "what if we don't like him?". Over and again we whispered "we're going to meet our son!!!!".

Mikey's foster carers welcomed us really warmly, I think Mikey's social worker and our social worker, Kath were already there but it was a bit of a blur! Mikey was asleep so we had some time to have a cup of tea and chat. Part of me was glad he wasn't right there when we arrived but another bit of me was wishing we had got the meeting part over with. I remember my first glimpse of him - he was brought in when he woke up and he made a hilarious alien-like noise! His smiles were mainly reserved for his lovely foster carers but Dave managed to bring out some big grins too. We stayed hours longer than we expected and made a plan for the next two weeks of getting to know Mikey.

Now think back and just imagine doing those early weeks of babyhood while in another person's house and imagine that you don't know that person and then imagine that at the end of two weeks someone has the power to say "this isn't working - we don't think this child is the one for you". I'm making it sound worse than it actually was, but it was certainly the hardest and most intense part of the process. We spent the next two weeks getting to know Mikey in his environment, getting to know his routine and his character and bonding with him. Slowly the balance of responsibility changed from Mikey's foster carers doing everything and showing us the ropes to us doing everything except sleeping in the same house. Our location changed too so that at the end, Mikey was spending time at our house and being taken back to Liverpool at bedtime.

I'd never been an especially baby-centred person, before having Mikey I never knew how to speak to or play with a baby and I wasn't particularly keen to learn! If I'm honest, I was a bit scared of babies. Thankfully Dave is a lot more of a natural - partly because of his love for children and partly because of his amazing ability to seem to know how to talk to almost anyone! He gave me so much confidence in those early days. It seems silly now that we felt nervous about having to do the first nappy change, bath, mealtime, bottle, dressing, etc. I loved the moment when Dave turned round to his rapt audience and said "look, I'm not feeling that confident about changing a nappy with all of you watching, will you give me some space and I'll tell you if I need help" - hero.

I remember feeling hot, feeling a bit dry throaty being in a smokey house, getting terrible indigestion because I was nervous, feeling awkward about going up to use the loo so much, and just feeling exhausted being on show all the time. It must have been utterly exhausting for Mikey - it was very unreal in lots of ways, he must have been overwhelmed by all the attention.

Through the two weeks we had regular chats with our social worker, Mikey's social worker and his foster carers. There were lots of opportunities to talk about how we all felt it was going and many chances for us to say we needed more time or that it just wasn't working. A lot of emphasis was on Mikey's foster carers - as the ones who knew him best they were the best judges of how he was coping and whether he was bonding with us. They were really encouraging and shared their home, their lives and their precious Mikey with us.

As hard as it was, Mikey's foster carers made it so much easier for us. I guess in many ways we had the instruction manual we longed for when we got Dan! We had a written timetable of Mikey's daily routine, we had one-on-one coaching in parenting, we had a hotline to the people who knew Mikey inside out. Their kindness to us was absolutely astonishing - I can't imagine what it must have been like to have us in their house all the time and to have to consciously stand back and let us try to look after Mikey and even make mistakes! They'd loved and nurtured Mikey and made him a real part of their family since he was three days old. Sometimes foster carers are warned not to get too involved, not to get too close or emotionally entangled. Although it genuinely broke their hearts I am so grateful that Mikey's foster carers loved him like he was their own baby. I'm just so thankful that he has never known a time when he wasn't desperately and delightfully loved.

When Mikey moved in it was the happiest and saddest moment of my life. Mikey's foster carers brought him in and put his clothes and toys in his bedroom. They couldn't speak. All we could say was "thank you". Only Mikey managed not to cry. After nearly 10 months of parenting Mikey his foster carers handed him to us, willingly - ungrudgingly, but with utter, unspeakable sadness. Tears are streaming down my face - I could never do what they did for us. I can never express how grateful I am. We got Mikey and we continue to reap the blessings.

goodbye old friend

2009-11-08T16:00:00.005Z

On friday I waved goodbye to Mikey's chair (looks terrifying doesn't it?!). It's been amazing and has made all the difference to our family over the last year. Having a chair that Mikey was safe in, that was stronger than he is and that can be high or low was brilliant - and hard to come by. But in recent months the chair has become unsafe, because Mikey is houdini. He can work the straps loose, he can bounce the chair (which I'm unable to lift) across the room even when the wheels are locked and when he bashes about in it when he's angry or stressed it becomes a metal torture chair!

BUT, because Mikey is physically able to sit, and the fabulous NHS is sadly strapped for cash, we won't be getting a replacement. At the moment we're wedging Mikey onto a little chair at a small table and he's coping well as long as we're right there to keep him sat down and to help him keep his food on the table. We really need to find a chair that is suitable for sitting at a normal dining table but that will also cope with Mikey's super strength! We're considering a Stokke chair, but I don't know whether they'll stand up to the Mikey test. Anyone got experience of them? If they're the right thing, it looks like it'll be a christmas gift - they're not exactly cheap!

I've got a date in the diary for Mikey's specialist health visitor to come and observe a mealtime and to give us some advice for feeding. I'm tired of meals being stressful and I would love to see my boys eat more than weetabix, yoghurt and beans on toast (inevitably, Dan ends up only wanting to eat what he sees Mikey eat)! Hopefully she'll have ideas for keeping a jumping bean with the flexibility of a fish and the strength of a bear in a chair and will help us crack the bleakness of mealtimes as they currently stand! I'm expecting miracles please!

adoption: finding out about Mikey

2009-11-06T19:53:00.004Z

I think it was thursday when the phonecall came. It was the end of August. "I may have found you a child", said our social worker. "Oh my!" Said I, and the rest is a bit of a blur! At that point, all Paul could tell me over the phone was that it was a boy, about 6 months old and based in Liverpool. We made plans for him to come round the next day to give us more details. I left a "callmeassoonasyougetthis" message on Dave's mobile and my mind began to spin!

Dave was at the end of the children's holiday Bible club at church and we were getting ready to have a holiday starting on the Sunday night. That holiday would end up being a crazy whirl of DIY and nesting, trying to get the house ready. Until you have an idea of the age and needs of the child you're going to adopt you can't really decorate or buy anything, so the preparation was crammed into a short space of time!

We spent that evening wondering. Wondering what his name was, wondering why he was up for adoption, wondering if we would say yes, wondering how soon we could meet him. The big thing we both knew and agreed was that we trusted God, he'd been in charge of the process right from the start - unless there was a really clear, obvious reason why we should say no to this child we would pursue meeting him. We were almost certain this would be the boy for us.

When Paul arrived the next day he gave us Mikey's form - a lot like our form F, all about him and his background. Paul stayed quiet while we read through it. Things that stand out in my memory are: the black and white photocopied picture of him was blotchy and horrible - nothing like the lovely, gorgeous boy we eventually met! He was described as a happy baby who slept well. He was healthy and he came from a busy foster home. He had moved in with the foster carers at 3 days old, coming from the hospital he was born in. The form also included pictures and information about Mikey's birth family and contained really helpful explanations in their own words of how they felt about the situation and their hopes for Mikey's future.

There were things we wanted to find out more about and things we wanted to negotiate (like the level of contact Mikey's birth mother was hoping to have), but we knew without having to consult that we would say yes! Plans were made for us to meet with Mikey's foster carers and social worker.

The system with our agency (and I think the rest of the UK!) means that you're not offered a selection of children and asked to pick one. Your social worker should know you well enough to make clear choices on your behalf and so adopters are shown one child, believed to be the best match. If that doesn't work out, the social worker searches again. You're also expected to have made a pretty much 100% decision before you actually meet the child so that a vulnerable child isn't messed around by people meeting them to size them up - they've experienced enough confusion and loss already. Although of course, if at any point you're not happy or you feel it's not going to work out, you are absolutely encouraged to say and stop the process before it goes too far.

Meeting the social worker and the female foster carer from the couple caring for Mikey was scary - I really hoped they would like us - I felt very anxious that his foster carer might say "no way, I'm not letting him move in with you"! The ice was broken pretty fast though - the foster carer had brought a DVD of Mikey and our only working player was in our bedroom. Up we all trooped - me, Dave, foster carer and our social worker Kath (who had taken over from Paul after his placement finished and continues as our support to this day) and we all sat on our bed and watched this amazing DVD! I remember feeling giggly at the crazy dance music in the soundtrack and noticing Mikey's nystagmus and already feeling proud of him showing moments of physical strength and loving his gorgeous, croaky groans and babbles! I remember telling myself "this is your son, Alice" but my brain didn't know how to respond to that - all too weird and hard to imagine!

I really can't remember a thing that we talked about! I do remember his foster carer being kind and really positive towards us and his social worker being very honest and also giving us reason to hope and feel optimistic that it could all work out. We made plans to meet Mikey at the start of October. It felt like a million years away!

I still watch that DVD sometimes. I watched it so often between that meeting and seeing Mikey for the first time. We showed it to close friends, we showed the pictures on the cover to our youth group, we took it to my sister's wedding and sat and showed it to my immediate family (including a tiny, days old Iris). It's hard to see that 6 month old baby as our tall and feisty Mikey, but I love the moments in the video where you see a flash of the boy the baby would become. I can't wait till Mikey's able to understand that it's HIM on the screen and to tell him about the day we first saw it and first knew we would love him.

The picture shows one of the photos Mikey's foster carer emailed us to keep us going in that long wait before we met him. Those pictures were as precious as jewels to us.

odd boys

2009-11-03T20:17:00.003Z

Just eaten way too much pizza and it seems to have made my brain stop working! So instead of talking about adoption today I'll just upload some peculiar videos.

Here's Mikey drinking lemonade. How cute is he?!

Here's Dan skating on plastic toast.

Our camera's video setting is broken BUT you can still hear Dan's lovely singing - I'm especially enjoying his song endings. He sang this song at full volume most of the time we pushed him round St Ives.

Urghhhh, I may have overdosed on pizza. I'm off to bed with some indigestion tablets, cos that's the kind of effortlessly glamorous life I live. Remember, dear reader, jealousy is an ugly thing.

holiday!!!!!!

2009-10-30T20:20:00.003Z

I really should have warned you that things would go unexpectedly quiet but I'm so unused to going on holiday I only just remembered to get someone to feed the cat!

We got back yesterday afternoon and have just about had time to wash clothes, read through what post managed to get through the royal mail strikes and buy milk I can drink my tea.

If you would like to look at beautiful pictures of St Ives and the amazing apartment we stayed in I suggest you check out Dad's blog - he's a great photographer and his pictures really show how peaceful and gorgeous the place is.

My lovely parents decided to include us kids in their 60th birthday treat and took us on this incredible holiday. So Ruth, Stuart, Iris & Rosa, Hannah & Felix, Mum & Dad and me and the boys all stayed in a converted sail loft right on the beach. My favourite bits have been eating together with all the grown ups in the evening, getting to know Iris and tiny Rosa a bit better, Mikey and Dad making sand castles and seeing Dan in particular really get to know my family and be hilarious and relaxed with them all. He's now in total hero worship of my Dad, which seems entirely right to me! Dan enjoyed himself so much he woke each morning before 4.30am. We're now trying to train him to sleep again - I really LOVE my sleep.

We celebrated Dan's birthday while we were away. Two years has gone very fast! He got a sweeet trike which he loves very much. I'm still trying to make his present from us - I've not been very productive on the evening knitting front in recent weeks.

It's 8.30pm here and I'm ready for bed! I'm planning to post more adoption stuff soon if that's OK with you? I'd love to share what it was like meeting Mikey for the first time and how we deal with things like telling him about his adoption and keeping in touch with his birth family.

adoption: getting grilled. Not so bad after all!

2009-10-22T19:39:00.005+01:00

I'm attending a parenting course at the moment and many of the stories I am hearing about people's experiences of life and parenthood are heartbreaking. I mean it. In a group of 10 I am the only representative of a family with a happy, solid marriage, a dad who is involved in his kids' lives, and children who have barely seen conflict. Sadness is the norm. My dad has written a good post recently suggesting that the solution to a lot of society's big issues often lies not primarily with schooling, or social work but with parents. I think he's right and I think the problem here is that parents are hard to reach and hard to change! I'm grateful for the help I get from homestart and surestart.

I wonder what it would be like if all prospective parents weren't just sent to antenatal classes, but were quizzed, grilled and trained like wannabe adopters are. Here are some of the questions we were asked - I think be forced to think things like this through really helps not only in preparing you for the unknown but for opening your eyes to the baggage and pre-formed ideas that will unavoidably affect your parenting - for good and bad.

How would you answer...

Describe your upbringing, what do you remember about family life?
What things were important to your family?
What things would you do that your parents did? What would you definitely not do?
Did you enjoy school?
How do past romantic relationships affect you now?
Write down your support network - people who support you and know you well, including where they live and how often you see each other
How do you think your life will change when you have a child (e.g. your job, finances, time, social activities)
What would your partners' perfect day be like?
How do you cope with disagreements?
Are there any parts of life that you know you don't agree on or that are hard? (e.g in laws, how money is spent, your plans for the future, etc) - how will these issues be affected by the arrival of a child?
How do you share out household duties? Will that stay the same when you have a child?
How do you think you will discipline your child?
What are your dreams for your child (marriage, college, good job etc.) How will you feel if those things aren't achieved?
How will you respond if your child grows to be very different from you (e.g. chooses to reject your religious faith, sexual orientation, etc.)
What things in your home need to change before you have a child?
Can you cope financially (prove it!)?

These are just skimming the surface, but it gives you an idea of the kinds of things we talked with our social worker about. Everything you talk about goes into an enormous document called a Form F. In that form your social worker describes you and makes their recommendation as to whether you should be approved as adopters. The idea of the form is that the panel who read it should feel like they know you before they meet you - where they grill you again and then either accept or reject you as adopters.

There's more to the process than the social worker meetings, but it's a big part. For many people it's harrowing, exhausting and painful but for Dave and I, a lot of it simply reminded us of the BLESSINGS we have been given - especially exceptionally loving and wise parents and the strength that comes from having a church family.

I remember the day we first met our social worker, Paul. He was a student - even younger than us! We'd just been having our central heating and bathroom done - it was all ready, except the loo was unusable. I remember praying like mad that he wouldn't need to wee (he didn't)! I remember being so nervous! That day stands even more clearly in my memory now though because the day we first met our social worker was the day Mikey first met his birth parents. The day we took a big step forward in saying "yes" to Mikey was the day Mikey's birth parents said a heartbroken "no" to him. 31st January 2006, the day Micheal Joseph was born. I know where I was!

adoption: the process in the UK (with none of the correct social-worker jargon!)

2009-10-20T20:49:00.004+01:00

Mikey, 11 months

Adoption seems to vary a lot from country to country. In the UK you basically have three groups involved: The children waiting for families, the adults waiting for children and the social workers acting as go-betweens. The majority of the children waiting to be adopted have been taken away from their birth families as a last resort and by and large this is down to abuse, neglect and birth parent/s not being fit to care for their children because of substance addiction, severe illness or a history of behaviour that strongly indicates that future children will suffer abuse or neglect. The minority of children in care are there because their birth families feel unable to look after them - often because of disability or disfigurement. You rarely get the movie storyline of parents killed in a car crash and in the UK you rarely get a woman taking the option of adoption while they're pregnant - abortion is relatively common and growing more so with increasing anomaly testing during pregnancy and laws that allow late abortions in the case of disability.

Basically adoption in the UK is rarely a birth parent's choice and always, always, always has a sad story behind it somewhere.

This is why it takes a while to be 'okayed' as adopters. These children aren't the solution to a fairytale desire for the perfect family, they are vulnerable, complicated. An addition to the family that brings a lot of extra baggage.

I get a bit frustrated when chat show hosts moan about how long adoption takes and, admittedly it didn't take as long for Dave and I as it takes for many adopters. In my opinion, if we're entrusting some of our most vulnerable children to adults they've never met before the least that can be expected is that those adults will have been police-checked, that they will have been carefully trained to understand what sorts of experiences the children they may become parents of have undergone and how they will be affected. The least we can expect is that those people have been thoroughly interviewed over a period of time, allowed to discuss their own childhood experiences, prepared for parenthood and approved by an impartial panel.

Having said all that - at every point in the process for us I was desperate for the end, desperate to meet my child and just get on with the job of being a parent!

I have a feeling that if I talk about the whole process in this post I'll be writing forever, so I'll just give you a rundown of the highlights and talk a little more about the bits that made a real difference to us tomorrow.

For us it went like this:

Early August '05 - introductory open evening
September '05 - we sent our application form off to the adoption agency
November '05 - 3 days of training for prospective adopters
Jan - May '06 - interviews with a social worker
July '06 - approved as adopters by the panel
August '06 - our social worker rang us to tell us about Mikey
October '06 - we meet Mikey and later in the month he moves in
March '07 - Mikey's adoption is made totally official by a judge in court

In just over a year we went from our first contact with the agency to our first meeting with our son! That kind of timing is pretty similar to a couple planning to start a family, conceiving, going through pregnancy and childbirth (except without the varicose veins and gas+air)! For us, it felt like forever, but it also felt like an extremely positive experience where we were really nurtured and genuinely prepared for parenthood. I can't give enough praise to the lovely people at our agency, adoption matters northwest!

adoption: making the decision

2009-10-19T20:32:00.003+01:00

Three years to the day that Mikey moved in, I thought you might like to see a picture of how breathtakingly gorgeous he looked when we met him! This was taken at Mikey's foster carers' home on 10th October 2006 - 5 days after we'd met our son for the first time!

I LOVE being asked questions about adoption and this is, I suppose, a chance to answer some that I'm asked all the time (especially a horribly belated response to the fabulous Dawn) and perhaps raise some questions too.

The question I'm asked most regularly is "what made you do it?", so here goes...

Before Dave and I got married (during our brief 7 month engagement!) we talked about all sorts of things and tried to feel as prepared as we could. Dave and I are fortunate to agree on lots of the big things in life - it's the silly little things, like washing up, that cause the most conflict between us! We chatted about what we would do if we couldn't have children of our own and both felt we wouldn't want to go down the IVF route - it just wasn't for us. It was quite natural for us both to say we would consider adoption. I suppose it's quite an easy thing to agree on when you've not had any experience of trying to start a family and the emotions that go along with it all. So for a while, that was a decision made and we didn't think about it for sometime after we got married.

I guess it was at some point in the first year that we talked about it again and one of us raised the question "would we choose to adopt a 'hard to place' child - like one with a learning disability?". I don't know if this seems like a weird thing to think about, but Dave and I both have experience of growing up with people with learning disabilities around us. Dave's dad has worked with adults with learning disabilities since Dave was very young and I grew up with relationships of varying closeness with peers with learning disabilities. I guess those experiences helped it feel more normal to us, and also know what some of the reality was like.

Dave and I tentatively, excitedly, said that yes, we would be willing to adopt a child like that. In fact, the more we talked about it (and we talked about it a lot in the weeks and months to come) the more keen we became. It sounds utterly perverse when I say this, but we were almost hoping we wouldn't be able to have our own children so that we could adopt a child with a learning disability. I can't explain this desire, except to say that I think a lot of it is the way God was changing our hearts and minds - it's not what I dreamed about doing when I was a teenager, it's not the average wishlist of a couple in their early twenties. But it became our genuine joy, our longing for the future.

I remember it was a trip to Tescos in Spring 2005 that we practically stalked a mother and her gorgeous little girl with Down's Syndrome, talking together about how cute she was. At the checkout I turned to Dave and said "let's do it - we don't have to have adoption as our plan b, let's just plan to do it!"

And that was it - the decision made! We hadn't thought about when, whether we would try to have "our own" kids first, whether we would be allowed to do it. We just knew that one day, we really wanted to adopt a child with a learning disability.

Little did we know that in Spring 2005 a little baby was conceived. He would have Down's Syndrome and his birth parents wouldn't realise it until he was born. Little did we know that they wouldn't feel they could look after him. Little did we know that God was preparing us to be Mikey's forever family while he was knitting him together in his mother's womb.

Next... the adoption process.

excuse me!

2009-10-18T13:40:00.003+01:00

Excuse the silence. Weariness, evenings of painting and decorating and an awful bout of food poisoning have made thing quiet around here.

My plan for the week ahead is to talk about adoption. There are three reasons for this:

It's just been national adoption week (and I didn't realise until friday!)
Adoption is just a totally fabulous thing!
Tomorrow marks the 3 year anniversary of Mikey moving in - whoooooop!

Hope that's all right with everyone and that the picture of Dan makes up for some of the absence?!

pukka tea

2009-10-04T20:30:00.004+01:00

I absolutely love pukka tea. I'm just trying a new flavour and I think it's yummy. I never used to like any herbal or fruity teas - I'm just a strong, milky yorkshire tea girl. But these are really great.

It also helps that they're in lovely packages and smell really nice! It's a cheap way of giving myself little treats. But nothing will ever beat yorkshire tea. Oh my goodness, if this is something that doesn't exist in any other country I'm never leaving the UK!

standard lamp

2009-09-29T21:55:00.003+01:00

Very excited to see this in a new local charity shop. I thought charity shops had been banned from selling electrical items - did I dream this? Anyway, I took a lightbulb with me to check it worked and then carried it home while pushing Dan in the buggy. Got some strange looks but no-one took the opportunity for an amazing comedy moment by asking whether I had a light. Get it? Hahaha! I'm such a geek.

I couldn't bring myself to edit the surroundings while I took this picture - it's messy and dark and the lamp is where my aching arms plonked it when I got home (it's about as tall as me!). Our house is a breathtaking mess at the moment. This is our kitchen. I'm constantly amazed we aren't terribly ill.

My plan is to paint it and get a new shade - maybe I read Liz a bit too much?! She's a bit inspiring isn't she?

cowboy mikey & superdan

2009-09-27T19:54:00.003+01:00

There's nothing quite like seeing my boys in slightly shoddy handmade fancy dress. I love it!

baking for 5 year olds

2009-09-24T19:58:00.003+01:00

What do you do when your Godson asks for bright red cake pops for his 5th birthday party? Well, even though you may be thinking:

"Red? They'll look like injuries not food. How will I colour white chocolate without it turning pink? Isn't that going to be a lot of crazy e-numbers for a lot of crazy kids?"

Instead, of course you say:

"Absolutely! Anything you want my love. What a fabulous choice!" And worry about how it will look/work/affect young minds later.

Ethan has a thing for red. His grandad works at Old Trafford and so of course he is a united fan born and bred. He also likes fire engines and a particular power ranger - can you guess which one? He's deeply cute. After his first day at school a couple of weeks ago he came home and said to Lou, "mum, it was more fabulous than I ever imagined". Oh my goodness!!

So here are the pops:

Red kind of works actually. I take it all back, Ethan!

I decided not to give him this one. We don't want nightmares.

But oh the effect...

devon honeymoon

2009-09-22T19:26:00.005+01:00

We had a lovely honeymoon in Aveton Gifford staying in a gorgeous cottage that friends of my parents let us stay in for free. Many things were completely lovely - not least spending 24 hours a day with Dave which had never really happened before!

We were short drives from gorgeous beaches and lovely seaside towns - the picture shows Thurlstone in the gorgeous heat of an autumn evening. We visited Salcombe which took my breath away. I'd live there if only I were rich, liked sailing and had no desire to park my car ever again (busy, tiny roads!). We also went to the marble museum and saw the world's biggest marble run. Oh boy, it changed my life. We used wedding vouchers to get a PS2 (it was new in those days!) and whiled away hours playing Colin Mcrae rally (we'd be very glad of that purchase later in the week). I slept off all the pre-wedding stress. Blissful!

Looking back there were also a number of things that were to set the course of our married life. Things just kept going slightly wrong...

1) We did our first food shop as a married couple. It all went fine, we didn't disagree about what to buy, we were friendly to the checkout girl who chattily packed our shopping bags for us. But then, my card was declined. Dave's card was declined. I'd been working on a training year with a charity and Dave had been an assistant at a church - it turned out that meant we were poor! Our first shop as Mr. & Mrs. was left with the security guard as we scuttled into town and I got money out of my almost empty savings account. We paid, we left, we blushed and giggled.

2) We visited Plymouth. Urgh.

3) Two days before the end of our honeymoon we got into the car and Dave noticed the steering wheel had been wrenched off the column. In getting into the car I hadn't noticed my door had been broken into. In the scumbags' failed attempt at robbing our car of us they'd made the car totally undrivable. We took everything out of the boot and rang the RAC. We spent a day of honeymoon talking to crime scene investigators.

4) We were staying in a tiny village. At the time there was no shop. Our car was unusable. We couldn't leave. We had two days to kill. We ate beans and yorkshire pudding. It was all we had.

5) Instead of starting our new life in Leyland driving ourselves in blazing sunshine with crowds cheering, we drove 7 hours in a truck with Brian - a mixture between Brian Blessed, the incredible hulk and Father Christmas. He ate 200g bars of dairy milk like I eat a fudge finger. He was excellent company. His wife was a midwife and they would both work like mad for a stretch and then go away on lovely holidays for the weeks inbetween. This explained why he was willing to just turn right back round after the huge journey he'd done with us and head home - another 7 hours away. Crazy! So we arrived in Leyland with a broken car, in the pouring rain and in utter darkness.

Since then, really lots of things haven't quite gone right but with God's help they've always turned out well, there's always been a story to tell, there's always been plenty to make us laugh and we've always been glad we're in it together!

six years!

2009-09-20T13:00:00.006+01:00

Six years ago Dave and I got married! It was an incredibly hot day - the pashmina I had emboidered with sequins to match my dress was totally redundant. I had spent the day getting ready at our (now) brother in law's family home because mum and dad had recently moved to Bristol but we were marrying at the church I grew up attending in Thame. The wedding was at 4pm and I remember guests kept arriving and I kept making cups of tea and chatting until I looked at the clock at about 3pm and realised I really needed to shower and get my dress on!

The service was lovely - I had been so nervous about it because I'm not very good at being the centre of attention. I remember my nerves easing as I looked around and realised I was surrounded by my favourite people! I remember lovely music a great talk on Ephesians 5 and not being able to get my head round the idea that we were married! I was so relieved not to get the giggles - I'd barely managed a word during the rehearsal because I'd been laughing so much. Dave and I hadn't really seen each other much in the month before we got married - living a few hours apart, and I think just suddenly seeing him after so long and having to be very intense saying 'with my body I honour you' and holding hands in a particular way made me find the whole thing a bit hilarious!

We walked the 10 minute journey from church to my old school hall which my sisters had decorated amazingly - the last time I'd been in there I'd been doing my A Level exams. It felt much nicer this time! The time passed in a flash and neither Dave nor I managed to eat much of the buffet.

By 10.30 we were driving away. 23 years old, excited, nervous and totally sure we'd found our ideal in each other. I'll be 30 before our next anniversary and although the last 6 years have been hard going (and at times Dave and I have both longed for the simplicity of the single life) I can honestly say I still have to pinch myself wondering why I should be so lucky to have got Dave. I'm utterly grateful to God for my lovely husband. He's not perfect, but he's all I want! Thanks for sticking with me Daveyboy.

getting back in to the swing of things

2009-09-12T18:45:00.004+01:00

Oh hooray for normal routine and summer holidays being over! Mikey started back at school on Wednesday and it was like he'd never been away. He came home with a certificate yesterday:

The boy who, all summer long, ate nothing but toast, weetabix, apples and yogurt (oh and crisps and cake - but I didn't tell school that!) went back to school and fed himself a roast dinner. He can stay at the school until he's 19 and if he carries on eating so well at school I'm quite happy to wait 15 years before I have to try to cook him anything real.

I'm so proud of Mikey's confidence and how he copes with all the intensity of starting school with nothing but glee and enthusiasm! Each day he has come home from school so happy (and so full of calories!) that he literally runs in circles for half an hour, giggling breathlessly!

Mikey now does three full days and having that time with Dan was blissful! Dan and I went to shops that don't fit double pushchairs in them, met a friend for a fry-up breakfast and he walked home, did some cooking, had an indoor picnic on the floor in the lounge, drew with pens, sucked noodles off our plates - oh just lovely things that are doable with one and tricky/impossible with two (if Mikey is the no.2)!

I used vouchers to get the boys some play food for their new kitchen - it's wooden, sliceable stuff. Dan's favourite thing is the knife!

Dan spent about an hour yesterday just rincing our recycling and getting soaked in the process. I'm sure these are the kinds of things other mums do all the time, but for me it was a real novelty and such fun. It's unbelievably nice to be able to bake, cook, clean up while Dan's around rather than just saving it all for after bedtime. He's good company that one!

This last pic shows how lovely and sunny it is today (feels like a miracle after the incessant rain!), how much Dan likes pretending to do what we do and it shows what I was doing while Dave inspected the rather large crack in our windscreen. The car still feels new and exciting so it's pretty good for us to be reminded not to place any hope in things that moth and rust (and tiny stones) destroy. Flippin' tiny stone though... couldn't it have hit a car that was already rusty?!

Anyway, LOVING having a sunny saturday off and very much looking forward to a night in with Dave once he's back from the pub having watched the united match. I have a glass of Rose so the relaxation has begun!

solutions

2009-09-06T20:33:00.005+01:00

We've just got a new computer because we need to give Dave's work laptop back to church. It's mac mini and is very lovely! The idea is that having a desktop will mean we spend less time just looking at the computer while doing other things (eating, watching tv, cooking, listening to music, etc.) and therefore we'll have time to chat and actually make eye contact with one another. We'll see!

We had a stern letter yesterday telling us off for not sending a photo of Mikey for his blue badge which means we can park in spaces reserved for people with disabilities. "We assume you no longer want the badge". NO! It's just, well - have you ever tried to get a perfect head-shot of a three year old? Especially Mikey!

After attempting to take many, many of our own we resorted to a photo booth and are just hoping they won't notice Dave's shoulder in the shot.

How sweet is his little face?!

We also bought Mikey and Dan new winter coats after receiving a surprise gift last week (amazing, hey?). Mikey's coats need to be very warm as he finds it hard to regulate his temperature. They need to be resilient and not furry because he will spend all his time chewing the collar. The zip needs to be covered somehow because he tends to just unzip and take his coat off, even if it means he's cold. I've also resorted to making him wear my knee-socks on his hands up to the armpits instead of gloves because he takes gloves off and then sobs when his hands get cold! THIS coat seems to be the perfect solution - it even has gloves attached to the sleeves!

Foolish Alice, did you really think Mikey's plans could be thwarted? After one trip out in the pushchair, here's what happened to his glove:

Back to the knee socks.

atchoo!

2009-09-03T17:27:00.005+01:00

Mikey's perfected fake sneezing.

It seems to be catching cos Dan's doing it now - he's a bit more pantomime though.

In a country gripped by pandemic paranoia it's quite funny seeing people's faces as I push my compulsive-sneezathon boys around the shops. Shhh, nobody say "swine flu".

Dan the supergrump

2009-08-31T19:07:00.007+01:00

Today Dan has done lots of grumping. On a walk round town he spent the whole time saying "no, no, no" in a sanity destroying whiney voice! He's also been horrid with Dave - pushing him away and crying for me when Dave tries to do kind things for him - like bring him food!

But there have been a couple of nice moments in amongst the moaning so I'm dwelling on that!

We played a bit of footy in the garden. Dan loves playing with balls and is pretty fab at kicking, throwing, bouncing and catching - this video doesn't do him justice. We think he might secretly be called ZiDANe.

Then Harold and Jean came round after tea - the moment the doorbell went Dan's eyes lit up and he shouted "Manma!" (grandma) with delight! There's nothing like grandparents to show off to and to cheer him up! He got all giggly and tizzy with Harold.

Hooray for that!

cinder toffee cookies

2009-08-29T09:18:00.004+01:00

mmm, yummy.

treats and tears

2009-08-26T19:01:00.005+01:00

Two good things happened today!

Number one - the play kitchen we ordered last week arrived. We have been saving Mikey's birthday money since January and are now creating a play space for him and Dan in our basement. It will be specially Mikey-proofed and we are also getting a new bedroom ready for him when we can bring ourselves to put him in a bed. The kitchen even came in a GIANT box - great for playing!

Number two - we went to the Zoo with Dave's mum and dad. We'd been planning this for a while and had saved up our Tesco vouchers specially. I LOVE the zoo. I'm never sure whether I ought to ethically, but I think it's OK!

My favourite bit was when a Giraffe made friends with me. It felt really amazing to be totally face to face with her (apart from the glass!).

It was lovely having Harold and Jean there and the boys had fun with all the extra attention. If there was an exhibit or animal Dan liked he would take each of us there one by one to show us - taking us by the hand and saying "come on" and "what's this?" in a very squeaky voice. He really liked the fish, the camels, the giraffe, the penguins and the peacocks.

Mikey had a good time in moments of the day but was generally quite sad. I really want to work out how to give Mikey treats. He's so hard to fathom! He's active and full of energy so we thought being able to walk around at the Zoo would be lovely for him, but he seemed overwhelmed by the freedom. He wanted to be carried for moments but still cried, he was sad looking at a lot of animals and sad being put in the pushchair. He's often in a bit of a world of his own so doesn't see what everyone else is looking at. In many ways the whole occasion went totally over his head and he didn't have a great time. Then he cried when we set the kitchen up for him! Although once it was ready he played really sweetly.

How do I do it? How can I give Mikey experiences he will enjoy? Does it just involve being in the same routine each day - perhaps the things he likes that happen every day are better for him than unexpected things where he is not sure how to behave and can't anticipate what comes next. Perhaps he'll grow into it. It would be nice to find things that both the boys would feel excited by - Dan's love for the Zoo was pretty much equal to Mikey's displeasure! These are the challenges of being Mikey's mum. But I suppose this is similar to lots of parents whose kids have very different tastes and isn't just a disability thing. Mikey's highlight of the day seemed to be watching cars go past while we drove on the motorway. I'd do anything to get a similar burst of joy out of him!

Oh well. Hooray for an evening in with my handsome husband, a glass of wine and a Jonathan Creek DVD.

because I like it when my kids dance

2009-08-25T11:32:00.003+01:00

Especially to a bit of Michael Jackson!

the memory of a goat

2009-08-24T18:54:00.008+01:00

Back in May we visited Old Holly Farm in Garstang (which boastfully claims to be the world's first fairtrade town!). Mikey made firm friends with the little goats and the white one took a particular shine to him (and his shoes) as you can see above.

We went back today and I'm sure the slightly more grown up goat remembered him!

The pesky thing also wanted to eat me though.

Dan took a while to warm up to the animals but eventually he loved the two little piglets. I took a video which is the weirdest pale thing ever - Dan is glowing eerily. It sums up what Dan said when he saw most of the animals - he's attempting to say "bye bye goats."

pork + porcini stroganoff

2009-08-23T19:45:00.006+01:00

The holiday cook-off continues. I found this recipe in She magazine, wasn't sure whether I'd like it but Dave and I LOVED it. To the point that when we both woke up in the middle of the night to sort out a crying teething Dan he told me AGAIN how nice the meal was. Haha - I think I responded with my usual grumpy tired but awake "mmmm uh huh?".

So do you want to know how to do it?

Serves 4 (I did half the pork and mushrooms but the same amount of sauce. I love sauce [or 'horse' as Dan calls it].)

Cover 40g dried porcini mushrooms with 300ml hot water and leave them to soak for half an hour.

I had never had porcini mushrooms and Dave doesn't like mushrooms so I wasn't feeling that confident. Especially when they smelt like Marmite and cat biscuits. Bleurgh. I chopped em up really small because smuggling is generally the best way to go with mushrooms and Dave. When they're pretty much ready heat a large frying pan with some olive oil and saute a thinly sliced onion (I used some shallots cos that's what we had) for 5mins. Add 2 crushed cloves of garlic and 750g pork cut into strips. Fry for 2 mins. Strain the mushrooms but reserve the brown stinky water. Add the mushrooms to your pan and cook for another 2 mins, then add a pinch of cayenne pepper and a teaspoon of paprika - I only had sweet pimenton, it was nice. Stir it all around and then add 3 tbsp brandy and flambe!

It was my first flambeing experience and I liked it I tell you!

Then stir in a teaspoon of dijon mustard, 200ml sour cream and the mushroom juice you reserved. I've just seen the recipe also wants you to put in 150ml chicken stock, well I didn't spot that so I didn't add it and it tasted great. Simmer and stir for 5mins then give it a squeeze of lemon juice and serve it up. We had it with braised rice.

It was so delicious I couldn't put my plate down to pick up the camera and take a picture of the final dish, but this is how it looked just before I served it up. Bliss in a pan I assure you!

Post script, thanks to lovely Elle Bee!
Note to non-UK readers (which is probably most of you cos I'm a bit embarrassed about telling my friends that I blog! Does anyone else feel this way?)
1 1/2 oz dried porcini
1 lb 10 oz pork
7 fl oz sour cream
1/4 pint chicken stock

no telling

2009-08-23T14:04:00.004+01:00

I've just read a few posts from 'no telling', a blog I found through Blogs of Note. I'm looking forward to coming back for more. Just read this post. It's lovely. xxx

Mmmarshmallows

2009-08-21T12:24:00.004+01:00

Orange-scented marshmallows with chocolate orange. Sounds nice eh? I'd leave out the orange flavouring in the actual marshmallows next time. Although in hot chocolate they are amazing. For step-by-step pics you can see more on my facebook link.

tea

2009-08-20T19:34:00.004+01:00

Dave took the boys out this morning so I made chilli, two loaves of bread, marshmallows and brownies. It was such a lovely morning and now I am entirely obsessed with taking photos of everything I make and eat. So bear with me.

I'm trying to make a meal a week for friends with a new baby, which means lovely hearty stuff for us. Today chilli with homemade bread.

The bread is from this link on Alicia Paulson's blog - it's an oldie and a recipe I've done many times - it always goes down well. The bread is sconey, sweet and melts into the chilli. It's also delicious toasted the next day. We're having a staycation and so far I've baked everyday. I could get so used to this lifestyle! I'm so in love with food.

clark kent

2009-08-19T09:41:00.003+01:00

Mikey has his first pair of glasses. I got mine when I was his kind of age. I've still not managed to get him to actually wear them. He screams when they come near his head!

The optician was excellent. He really understood Mikey and took a few appointments to try out glasses on him and he always stopped before Mikey got distressed. We were also given a free pair of glasses for Dave and I to wear to help Mikey see what is meant to happen with glasses and to encourage him to copy. The spare set we've been given are not unlike the dreaded NHS ones I had to wear as a child. I already had awful hair and horrible teeth, I suppose they thought it couldn't get much worse.

Although Mikey hates his glasses, Dan likes the spare pair A LOT! With his little curl he makes me think of Clark Kent.

dedication

2009-08-18T06:59:00.005+01:00

I've known Lynne since we both turned up at a baby group for children with Down's Syndrome. Her little boy was a few months old and Mikey was 10 months and had just moved in with us. Mikey and Cody are now in the same class at school and Lynne has been a great encourager and a good friend - we try to meet for fry-ups at Tesco and those breakfasts have helped me keep sane! Lynne is one of those people who always seems relaxed and positive. There have been some seriously scary moments in Cody's life and Lynne's love for her boy and boldness in speaking up for him have been inspirational. Lynne also has 5 other gorgeous sons. Mikey thinks two in particular are simply the coolest boys he's ever met. Whenever he's with them he just stays as close as possible and watches them - they're absolutely lovely and kind and brotherly, letting him join in their games and including him in great rough and tumble!

Lynne and her husband have just got matching tattoos to raise awareness of Down's Syndrome. I love them. What a fab idea and a great way to start conversations. I'm still amazed at the little people know about DS and feel the more things that will raise the profile of people with Down's Syndrome and give people courage to ask questions the better! It's all right not to know much, but I'm surprised when people don't seem to feel the need to find out more.

If you want to know more about Down's Syndrome have a look at this site or ask me as many questions as you like!

my hero

2009-08-17T07:55:00.004+01:00

Yesterday Dave finished his job. After six brilliant years as youth minister at St. Andrew's he's having a career change and will be working in the excellent local high school as a TA with responsibility for behavioural management (hanging out with naughty boys!). It's a huge change, Dave's been working full time in various churches since he graduated with a degree in ceramics 8 years ago. The change will mean a lot of positive changes in our family lifestyle - Dave will have TWO days off a week, plus school holidays. Suddenly we have a week with clear evenings until we choose to fill them.

There is sadness though. Particularly concern over how our church family will be affected with Dave leaving and no replacement coming. We're so happy to be staying in Leyland. Leaving friends and family here would be enough to make me weep for years.

Dave is my favourite person in the world. He has brought creativity and fun to a really hard job. He has absolutely transformed a youth ministry which was becoming stagnant and outmoded. He has taught the Bible with faithfulness and skill that I am in awe of and the vast amount of people who love and respect him is a testimony to his generosity and kindness. The thing I first noticed about Dave when we met was that he would speak to anyone and treat them with such sensitivity, humour and kindness. Those qualities have only grown. It says a lot that when he mentioned he was leaving his job to the Head at the school he'd been going into while working at church she rang him within hours with a concrete job offer.

I'm terribly proud to be Dave's wife and excited about the future (and a bit nervous). I'm so glad we're in it together.

The picture is from the summer holiday club Dave helped run last week. Obviously those muscles are all his own.

friends (and air freshener)

2009-08-15T19:16:00.003+01:00

I've been looking over the many photos I took while the camera cable was broken and there is a running theme. Friends. It would be easy to forget all those little moments if it weren't for being faced with them all in one go. Totally lovely and very heartwarming!

When Dave was away for a week I had some girls round to make cakepops and eat pizza. Lovely company and simply great to have a night just with girls - it's been a long time since I've done anything just with female friends and it was really fun!

We had a summer barbecue with the staff team of our church. It's Dave's last day working for church tomorrow so it felt very special to be with everyone and weird to think it's a world we won't be part of now.

We had a sunny trip to Southport with lovely friends Colin and Caroline. A few days after that their first baby was born - Eva Rosemary. Can't wait to spend time together with them as a brand new family. They are people Dave and I love and respect enormously - Eva has really excellent people as parents.

Then last week we threw a baby shower for my fab friend Ruth. No pics of faces do justice to the women who came, so feet it is! Ruth is about to move to Oxford with her husband while he trains to be a vicar. I'm going to miss her so much. I was bridesmaid at her wedding and to be honest would really rather she was still living just down the road when her baby arrives! Great chats, including conversation about people's weird names. Including a lady who married a Mr. Lawrence which was fine except that her first name was Florence. And a kid at someone's school (lots of teacher friends!) called Sea Breeze. I said I actually quite liked that name, so I went to Tesco and looked at other air fresheners for inspiration for any future children's names (no not pregnant!). I really did. Water Orchid, Freesia Jasmine ... I think I'm on to something here. I might write to airwick and see if they'l sponser my next child.

Anyway, the original point stands! Lots of friends who all live within ten minutes of us. We are totally blessed. I'm hoping that up-coming life changes means we see more of these lovely people.

Rosa Eve

2009-08-12T20:49:00.005+01:00

Rosa Eve was born on July the 24th. I had a phonecall from my eldest sister Ruth saying "Hi Alice, I just wanted to let you know I've had a baby"! That sums Ruth up - she is absolutely incredible. She had just had a straightforward but unenjoyable homebirth and within hours was sorted enough to give me a ring and have a chat! Where I am lazy and comfort-driven Ruth is determined, dedicated, hard working and full of perseverance. Qualities I admire very much.

A week later Dan and I traveled down to Bristol and soaked up the newborn deliciousness!

Rosa kindly modeled the little socks and rabbit I had made for her.

I love this picture of Ruth and Rosa - Rosa's pecky little mouth kissing her laughing mummy.

This sweet girl was doing some lovely dream-smiling while being cuddled by dad. I love how her and Stuart's faces are doing similar things!

Iris and Dan spent their time fence climbing - while Dan's back was turned I had a little cuddle with Rosa. Shhh - he still thinks he is the only baby in the world. Don't tell him he's nearly TWO! Don't tell me that either come to think of it.

I have a CABLE!!!!!!

2009-08-11T18:52:00.002+01:00

Just uploaded one million pictures and have very little time to blog! So I thought this picture would be enough to keep us all going for quite some time. May I introduce you to Rosa Eve my new niece!

GORGEOUS!

Jammin' with Mikey Joe

2009-08-05T19:49:00.002+01:00

The camera cable is STILL on it's exciting journey from Japan. Thankfully I have my shoddy mobile phone and I can take videos of my sweet boy playing the geeetar and doing actions to a favourite song. Shhh, Dave is at Old Trafford watching United vs. Valencia so he doesn't know I'm posting a video with him singing and also clapping excessively. He may never realise if we keep it quiet.

flippin' camera cable and lovely husbands

2009-08-01T19:53:00.004+01:00

I only have one husband actually but he is lovely. Here is proof:

For a while now Dave has been saving the amazon vouchers he gets whenever he drums or teaches at a conference. He used his hard-earned vouchers on ME! On a KITCHENAID!!!! Isn't it a lovely colour? Much nicer than that lemony pukeness in the previous post. He's really lovely to me. It's amazing to have something so posh in the kitchen and especially precious cos it's been saved for. Any ideas what I should make first?

But this lack of camera cable is driving me wild. We hopefully now have a new one on the way. It's funny how my desire to blog is driven by what nice pictorial proof I have to back up what I'm saying. When it arrives expect multiple daily posting including:

My girly night in with pals making cake pops together
Baking thank yous for Mikey's teachers
Dave's first loaf of bread
Rainy summer park trips with the boys
Meeting sweet Rosa Eve my amazing sister's beautiful new daughter
Knitting projects

Plus a post on Play On The Word about Jesus as mediator... it involves chocolate.

That flippin' cable.

Back again

2009-07-23T22:08:00.005+01:00

Oooof! It's been a strange couple of weeks, hence the lack of blogging, facebooking and general internet time wasting. Dave was away at the Keswick Convention last week and this week I've spent the evenings getting ready for a seminar I was doing for some of the women at church this evening. It's over now and Dave is home to I can get back to the non-reality of blogdom.

There's lots to say and nothing to say!

While I was away from you I got a KitchenAid.I also sent it back for being a bit rubbish, scratched, scary sounding and because the yellow colour was a bit too pastel for me. Maybe get another one sometime!

We got a NEW car!

It's not rubbish, scratched or scary sounding and it's shiny red so that's fine.

Mikey had his first school report and his first parents' evening. He is a delight, has a lovely personality, has a special friend called Abi and needs to work on his catching skills! We've also had a breakthrough with him - this may not sound like anything to most people in the universe but Mikey has been self-feeding using a spoon himself and today ate his yoghurt totally unaided which is a FIRST and I nearly cried so instead I took a video. I'm so proud of him.

That is about the best catch up I can muster. Regular bloggin will resume. Sorry about that.

baking for friends

2009-07-07T22:03:00.004+01:00

I only really started baking because we got a posh looking oven and I thought I ought to do some so I could justify our purchase. I now really, really, really love it and can hardly remember what it was like to think "why would you make it when you can buy it and not have to measure out and wash up?" - although I still do totally resent washing up in all its forms.

Since then, a few people have been kind and said they really like my stuff and I've been allowed to feed hundreds with my cookies and cakes which is really very exciting. I find baking pretty relaxing and satisfying until I'm baking for others. It's fine to be baking a few cookies for school or a couple of dozen muffins for home group or women's bible study but it seems that if it's for an occasion I get a sense of pressure and worry and things go wrong! I still love it though!

Take this weekend for instance. I had been asked to do some stuff for a friend of a friend's baby shower. So I made some cookies, made some blueberry muffins with cream cheese frosting and got down to making some cakepops.

I'd been asked to do blue because this foaf is having a boy. ('Foaf' - Did I just make that up - I kind of love it.) So I made some nice blue ones and took some pictures while I melted more blue chocolate.

Idiot. I burned the chocolate of course!

So I got some more into the microwave and it turned in to a weird chocolate clump that was totally irretrievable.

So on to the back up plan. With confidence I melted white chocolate, smiling as I remembered the cake decorating shop assistant's words as I bought the food colouring powder, "that's what we use, if you just use a little bit it makes a baby blue and then you can just add more to make the colour deeper". So I added a little bit, thinking that although it wouldn't be perfect the next set of pops would look relatively similar to the ones I'd just done. The chocolate turned swamp green. In fact the only way to stop the greenness was to add more colouring. The chocolate turned murky grey. No one wants murky grey at a baby shower tea party, it just doesn't quite create the right joyful ambience. So I added more and more and more until my chocolate was a grainy looking navy blue.

Really, that's all a mother to be wants isn't it? Navy blue cake. Why did I listen to that girl? She had also just told me she had NO formal cake decorating training. She may actually not have worked there.

As I took pictures, one after another was dark and blurry. It was as though the camera was saying, "surely you don't want pictures of those? I'll focus in on the sink unit instead."

In the end when they were all wrapped up they looked pretty sweet and maybe even quite elegant but I've still not heard what the baby showerers thought of them. Perhaps they're all sick from food colouring overdoses.

I'm still not sure about edible glitter. It looks very nice but apparently is just non-toxic rather than really being a food item - which means it's not actually digested, which means that...

Hmmm, I don't think I can type what I'm thinking. Instead I will confess that yes that is a Countdown boardgame in the background of the picture.

mikey's moves

2009-07-05T15:44:00.003+01:00

Here's a video of Mikey dancing in the car. He's got moves that boy.

three quid, man!

2009-07-04T17:54:00.005+01:00

Oh gosh. This is one of the many reasons I love Leyland. Every now and then you come across a real treat at the charity shop. These were in the window of our local Help the Aged. Honestly, could you have resisted them?

My favourite is this green stuff. It's just great isn't it?

Look at the milk jug. Oh my!

I also like this very much, but am still trying to decide whether to give it to my favourite local florist, Jo. She is gathering teacups to put candles in and sell at the shop. What would you do?

This lipstick (plus possibly a bit of biscuit?) mark made me laugh and puke a bit. Then made me wonder about the previous owner. Did they die? Would they be sad if they knew someone had donated their lipstickmarked cup and hadn't really washed the remains of the tea out either? It was probably just someone like me who isn't a very thorough washuper and couldn't be bothered cos they knew they were going to give it to the charity shop tomorrow. You (I) can think about these things too much can't you (I)?

Happily Dave likes it all too and because it all totalled £3 there is no spending induced guilt - just pure charity shopping buzz!

Are you kidding me?

2009-07-02T20:50:00.003+01:00

We have been asked to send two passport sized photos of Mikey to the council for a disabled parking badge. Here are my attempts so far...

rubberchops:

Elvis sneer:
and I've got lots of variations on this theme:

Hmmm. He's gorgeous though isn't he?!

Baby's got sauce

2009-06-28T14:22:00.005+01:00

Name the artist!*

Yesterday we briefly popped by to see friends at a 40th birthday party in Knutsford. We're realising more and more that social events and our children don't mix that well! Anyway, we ended up needing to get some tea for the boys while we were out so nipped in to a Mcdonalds. I took some pictures of Dan while Mikey was transfixed watching the drive-thru cars. At the moment Dan just wants to do what he sees you do.

So, because Daddy was dipping chips in sauce, Dan had to as well.

He had some curry sauce and then just the thought of the barbeque made him go all tizzy.

Then he fancied trying some Sprite.

Yep. We're cruel parents.

And this is what he thought of Dave by the end of it.

I took this picture because I am constantly amazed by Mikey's easy, pure joy. He caught a glimpse of me in the wing mirror and beamed, giggled and squealed with delight! They don't make life easier, but they make it a lot more fun.

*Baby's got Sauce? G. Love & special sauce - of course! Download it asap.

Mikey & Dan

2009-06-25T23:24:00.003+01:00

I really enjoy how these boys entertain each other. Dan's doing a dance for Mikey - I can't get enough of Mikey's face, I love that you can tell how funny he thinks Dan is even though you can hardly see his face!

Something new

2009-06-24T07:24:00.002+01:00

I'm tentatively sharing this with you! It's a definite work in progress and will keep on evolving. Play on the Word is basically a play resource for Christian parents of pre-schoolers. My plan is to offer fun play ideas that help us chat naturally to our kids about Jesus. Eventually there will be lots of downloadable resources with loads of ideas, but for now I'm just blogging about what I'm doing day to day.

If you like the header it's all down to the brilliant Jon Bradley.

I'm excited about the possibilities with this, we'll see how it goes!!!

camera failure!

2009-06-16T21:28:00.004+01:00

Oh nooooooooo! The USB cable for my camera seems to be broken. I wanted to upload pics of Mikey an Dan playing in the sensory room and then in the paddling pool. There's something about broken technology that brings out the old lady in me -

I worry that if I get a new cable it won't work and it will be the camera that's broken...

So I'll replace the camera and it will turn out to be the laptop that's broken...
So I'll replace the laptop and realise it was just that I hadn't switched the camera on in the first place and I didn't need to replace anything except my brain.

Although in reality we wouldn't go replacing things, we'd just do without and grumble a bit. Oh and I'd just ask Dave what to do and he'll work it out. Phew, yet again I have every confidence that once he gets back from football he will be my hero.

But you can see from my desperate use of google images - I may not cope long without my camera.

ps - when I posted this all the ads on the page that tells me I've posted successfully were asking me "have you got a broken laptop?". Well, Big Blogger was definitely watching as I wrote the post! Fearsome, eh?